Not guilty. Two words that in the past years send a chill down my spine, make my stomach turn, and cause tears to roll down my cheeks. Not guilty. Two words that seem to be said repeatedly when a Black person is killed due to the actions of a police officer. Not guilty. So what number is this now? 17? 20? I am starting to lose track.
When the verdict of not guilty was announced for the officer who shot and killed Philando Castile a wave of sadness came over me. I end up falling into my same routine… Googling articles on the case, talking to friends and family, and replaying the information I have gathered on the case in my head over and over again. Though this process causes my soul to cry, I cannot stop researching. How and why could a jury believe this officer was not guilty? Is this really happening again? I watched the live-streamed video posted by Philando Castile’s girlfriend last year. Where was the gun on Philando’s lap according to the Blue Lives Matter following? Where was the threat of imminent danger the officer claimed he was in?
This fear of imminent danger officers keep using as their defense has become a tired excuse to mask the officer’s lack of training on how to deescalate confrontational situations and how to deal with their own personal biases against people of color. As a person who has worn uniform the majority of my life and has always been a rule-follower, I have the utmost respect for authority and authority systems. However, it is becoming painstakingly clear that the system is not made to benefit or protect people of color. Even if you comply with the law enforcements’ requests you still are at risk of being killed in cold blood if the officer is fearful for his/her life. I am Black. I was raised around Black people, in particular Black men, who love their family and community. I am a proud daddy’s girl who sees my dad, uncles, and male cousins as nothing more than gentle giants. I come from a married two-parent household, as do most of my cousins and closest friends. So when I constantly hear this narrative that Black people, in particular Black men, are angry, aggressive and uncontrollable monsters in which deadly force is the only way to subdue them, I scream that’s a lie. When an officer approaches a situation thinking the person they’re encountering is an adversary, not a human, their minds will play tricks on them. Suddenly the officer’s biased internal thoughts turn into outward fear and we have yet another death of an unarmed Black person on our hands.
Normally society has a soft spot for women and children. Philando Castile was in the car with his long-time girlfriend and preschool aged daughter. The fact that the officer shot 7 shots into the car with a child in the backseat; yet didn’t at least get charged with ‘endangering safety by discharging a firearm,’ though the child was in the bullets’ trajectory, is absolutely unbelievable. This case says to me America’s soft spot doesn’t apply to Black women and children. This case says that it is ok to kill a significant other and father in front of their loved ones. This case says that the danger a supposedly trained officer feels he is in is of more significance than the danger he is putting the community he is supposed to be serving in. Overall, when the people who have taken an oath to protect and serve a community cause routine havoc in our lives to the point where Philando Castile’s daughter at the tender age of 4 has to console her mother telling her everything is going to be ok, we are living in scary times.
I fear for the future of my people. The constant images and videos of Black men and women taking their last breaths is going to have long-lasting effects on Black peoples’ mental status. Having to go to work/school and function like nothing is wrong and you did not witness another murder has become the norm.
When you have to engage in the sympathetic conversations after the attacks on Paris occur, or the attack at Ariana Grande’s concert; yet, no classmate/coworker asks if you are okay after another Black person is murdered by law enforcement and their killer walks free, the mental anguish is suffocating.
When the family of a dog shot and killed by police in Maryland can be awarded $1.26 million in wrongful dog death lawsuit, why can’t one officer be held responsible in the death of an unarmed Black person? Are dogs held in higher regard than a Black human? Overall, you start to wonder are we being exterminated as a people? In my opinion, it feels like we are and unfortunately no one seems to care.
(No Claps Yet)
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