You Have Failed Your Goddesses

by with No Comment Featured

A close friend of mine emailed me an article this morning with a simple statement in the subject line, “This is crazy.” It was about the third rape incident in a week involving another teenage girl who was sexually assaulted and burned alive.

She was molested in her own home by a man who then doused her in petrol and set her on fire when she threatened to tell her family about the incident. What makes this terrible story even worse and fills me with rage and disgust is that one of the perpetrators who was arrested is her cousin.

Each woman is a Goddess in her own right. Songs are dedicated to them, stories and poems of bravery, courage, and love are written about them, and wars have been fought over them.

Women are the very foundation of our civilization; yet, for some unknown reason, we do not or perhaps will not acknowledge their worth or humanity.

No country in this world shows its lack of respect and disvalue for women more than India. There are 28 Goddesses in Hinduism, 28 powerful female entities that incorporate every known emotion and ability – from love and guidance to vengeance and wrath.

Millions of people in India as well as around the world worship them and go to unbelievable lengths to show their devotion and reverence, but for some inexplicable reason that admiration and respect does not transfer to the women that live within the Indian population.

Where and When did India fail its women? Well for starters, there is a strong possibility the female fetus will be aborted because of the stigma that women are a burden to the family, and that they cannot earn or inherit their family’s property and wealth like a male heir can. Moreover, baby girls are killed after birth, leading to a ridiculously skewed sex ratio. Those who survive this horrible rite of passage then face discrimination, prejudice, violence, and in extreme cases face neglect all their lives, regardless of being single or married.

TrustLaw, a news platform run by Thomson Reuters, has ranked India as the worst G20 nation for women to live. Their ranking is astounding, considering the fact that the leader of the ruling party, the speaker of the lower house of parliament, at least three chief ministers, and many sports, entertainment, and business icons in India are women.

In 2016, there were roughly 40,000 reported cases of rape in India. The majority of victims range between 16-30, and disturbingly enough 94% of the victims knew their offenders. Neighbors account for a third of the offenses, while parents and other relatives range of that scale as well. Today, India’s Capital Territory, Delhi, alone accounts for nearly 17% of the total number of rape cases in the country.

What makes this problem even more infuriating is that it is not just the act of rape, but kidnappings, abductions, killings, mutilations, acid attacks, and fire attacks as well. This type of violence can be related to disputes over dowry payments, human trafficking, rejection, and pure jealousy.

Research conducted by economists Siwan Anderson and Debraj Ray estimates that in any given year, nearly two million women go missing. Additionally, the economists learned that roughly 12% of the women disappear at birth, 25% die in childhood, 18% at reproductive ages, and 45% go missing at older ages.

Analysts claim that because the country is deeply entrenched in patriarchy and widespread misogyny, the attitude towards women is a reflection of that. Personally, I find that to be a cop-out and a pathetic excuse to allow these horrible acts of cruelty and violence to continue.

When a person commits a crime and the punishment is a slap on the wrist, how can we expect anything to change? How can we expect the men of India to do better? How can we expect them to appreciate women when the government itself is so incompetent and ridiculously slow to provide proper protection for women and harsher punishments for those who believe it is in their right to violate, rape, murder, burn, and molest at will?

This may sound like a rant, and you’re right, it is. I am one voice in a sea of millions of other voices lost on the ears of those who can do something but choose to do nothing. When will things in India change? When the nation as a whole realize that its most valuable treasure is not its history, or its temples, forts, tech hubs, or palaces; but its women.

How India decides to treat its women will determine India’s image to the rest of the world, and if they are worth the blessings and gifts their ancient Gods and GODDESSES bestow upon them.

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Response: Nice Guys Finish Last

by with 10 Comments CultureFeaturedGen Z
[Article: Nice Guys Finish Last]

The real issue that I have with this article is the author’s insistence on enforcing gender binaries, Darwinism, and using anecdotal experiences with women to support his argument on why “Nice Guys Finish Last.” The author provides very little evidence to back his theory on why “Nice Guys Finish Last” in general. The author continually exploits the women in his life as weak and confused beings that are intrinsically drawn to men or masculinity, and by not choosing others, are therefore examples of how “Nice Guys Finish Last.”

Another, even more problematic aspect of this article is that the author assumes that the sexual relationships these women partook in were consensual, when he has no right to speak on their behalf. He flip-flops between blaming women for their own sexual objectification or assault by way of Darwinism, but then preaches support and love for these same women. He admits…

“I’m not victim blaming, I’m not excusing any men for their behavior, and I’m not taking an inch away from the #MeToo movement that is so sorely needed to advance our species forward. BUT I am asking that for every father that must educate his son on how to properly treat another woman (or man), there must also be a mother who teaches her daughter how to properly treat or react to another man (or woman) such that the wrong behavior is not accepted or tolerated.”

This quote is a transparent example of his lack of understanding of these complex issues, his trans exclusionary rhetoric, and his belief that there are only two genders, woman or man. At the end of his article, he is asking women and “mothers” to be more proactive in endorsing “better men.” In essence, this strikes me as utterly hypocritical. This particular man is claiming that because he is a “nice” heterosexual, cisgendered man that he should be rewarded for treating women with respect. Overall, I believe that his argument is incredibly flawed and feels defensive. If this man truly cared about the women in his life, he would take responsibility and lift up these women’s voices instead of asking them to fix the oppressive systems that they did not construct.

I think at the end of the day his own misogynistic ideology, lack of responsibility for his own actions, and complete lack of understanding for what the #MeToo movement serves to address, makes his understanding of women and what embodies respect, subpar.

Nice Guys Finish Last

by with 3 Comments CultureFeatured

The #metoo movement is neglecting something in their current crusade:

Historically, nice guys finish last.

The men that the #metoo women endorse: the kind, patient, never aggressive, never instigating, never accosting, never touching without permission, always considerate type of man… he is often taught (by WOMEN) that he is a loser in the race to naturally select, procreate, find a mate, and… get laid!

In my own life, I remember three separate occasions when my “nice guy” approach lost to the complete antithesis of the #metoo movement.

For what it’s worth, I’ve never made an inappropriate advance on a woman. It’s mostly because I have a low sex drive/libido and my Mother was violently insistent on treating women with respect and NOT having sex until marriage (I still did, mind you, but it always took weeks if not months after the first kiss… I was very “slow”).

But I remember the girl I fell for in 8th Grade kind of liked me and almost agreed to “go with me” (my only tactic being polite, respectful conversation over the course of 6 months). That is until the hot, cool guy made a move on her and, without hesitation, she consented to a sex act in the computer room. A week earlier, she had FINALLY agreed to dance with me at the school dance for the greatest three minutes of my adolescence.

I was heartbroken. My most aggressive intention was a kiss. Holding hands would have been pure bliss. But she was overwhelmed by confidence, good looks, and Darwinian impulses that brought her in an instant to her first sexual activity with a boy who she had never really gotten to know and who cared nothing for her… but he was a really popular, handsome, confident guy.

I don’t blame her. I could have been more confident at that age and yet still a gentleman. I was kind of a wimp in 8th Grade and wimpiness is not attractive. I once overheard a girl say “I don’t know how any girl would ever find him attractive. He’s such a loser.” I was nice, but weak. For some reason, strong guys are often assholes, but sexual impulses are millions of years old. Our bodies demand that we pursue the mate that will give our offspring the best genes and greatest chance of survival. Historically, that means the strongest, bravest, and most confident.

Anyhow, in high school, I “courted” a girl for two years. My heart belonged to her and she really seemed to like me, but that didn’t stop her from giving a blowjob to the confident guy that could dance better than me and was über machismo. They started dating. After he cheated on her, she asked me to prom and we dated for two years. It was a really great relationship and I learned not to be jealous of a girl, more accurately a woman, who was just figuring out what she liked.

In college, the girl I liked more than anyone I’d met in my life kept me in the friend zone for eight years before we dated. In that time, she was raped once and date raped twice while drunk by really confident, fun guy-friends whom she had trusted. It was heartbreaking.

I thought I was the perfect guy in regard to behavior, respect, boundaries, and patience. I was almost NEVER rewarded for my good behavior until I married my wife: the most perfect woman I have ever met who lets me know each day how much she appreciates the way I treat and respect her.

But I was playing the long game and I won. How many men lost in this approach? How many men lost time and again to “cavemen” like these current sex offenders in politics and entertainment that are going down in flames?

If there are awful men who still adhere to aggressive, inconsiderate, animal-kingdom norms in pursuit of finding a sexual mate, there are surely awful women as well who have encouraged their behavior.

I’m not victim blaming, I’m not excusing any men for their behavior, and I’m not taking an inch away from the #metoo movement that is so sorely needed to advance our species forward. But I am asking that for every father that must educate his son on how to properly treat another woman (or man), there must also be a mother who teaches her daughter how to properly treat or react to another man (or woman) such that the wrong behavior is not accepted or tolerated.

Young women, if properly educated, can help shape the behavior of young men by only reacting positively to the behavior that #metoo wishes to propagate. Otherwise, who will the young men believe? The adults telling them to act with respect and empathy? Or the beautiful young lady who only gratifies the romantic desires of machismo, caveman aggressors?

In short, behavior is formed in our adolescence. Ladies, it would help us gentlemen if you would please do your part in endorsing better men so that only the best behavior is accepted and continued.

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