The Significance of Derek Chauvin’s Verdict

by with One Comment FeaturedRace RelationsSocial Issues

Guilty. The one word that signified the end of a three-week trial. The trial of Derek Chauvin on the murder of George Floyd is one that encompasses the remnants of 401 years of inhumane treatment of Black lives in America. George Floyd’s death is reminiscent of that of Emmett Till; galvanizing a new generation of Civil Rights activists to open the eyes of the world to say yes, Black Lives Matter. That we are people too, but more than anything else, we are human. 

This verdict did not come without some angst or doubt that a sliver of justice would be served.  In the cases, of Michael Brown, Tamir Rice, Breonna Taylor, Philando Castile, Sandra Bland, and Eric Garner, where was the justice? It has been the Black experience that our lives remain insignificant to that of our counterparts in the eye of the police. 

As we collectively breathe a sigh of relief now that we have a verdict, I cannot help but recognize that this euphoric feeling is only temporary. The verdict leaves me to beg the question, what happens next? What happens to the other officers involved? How will they be held accountable? Would there be new policies to include accountability among fellow officers? How will this change the way policing is done? For a system where ideologies of White Supremacy and racism are inherent, these changes needed to happen yesterday.  

Police Training…

This verdict sets the tone for America to reevaluate policing. It would be wise to consider looking at the training of police forces in other countries, which results in fewer police shootings and murders. We say we need more training, yet it seems the issue is not the frequency, but the length of time, quality, and substance of the information given during training. Too many people of color have been victimized due to those inherent values, mediocre quality in training, and the lack of interest and investment in continual support of the mental health (other than passing a psychological exam) of police officers. It is apparent that the policies and training are far beyond inadequate and lacking.

There is so much work to be done, and it requires all of us to work together to bring about effective change. The only way to move is forward, all of us, together.

George Floyd’s death and the trial of Derek Chauvin will serve as a milestone in how far we have come as African-Americans. The verdict has a special place in our history’s timeline. Just as Emmet Till’s death sparked the Civil Rights Movement, George Floyd’s death is launching a new wave of activists; leading a new era when it comes to justice: accountability. We are nowhere near true justice, but the will and desire to seek and achieve it has become the goal.

This case will forever signify one simple truth that we all know; that we are people; that we are human, but most of all: BLACK LIVES MATTER

Similar Read: Chauvin Verdict

History Made in Georgia

by with No Comment CultureFeaturedPolitics

Last year, the United States descended into pure chaos. Systemic racism was thriving and it resulted in several untimely deaths. All the while, we were ill-equipped to handle the pandemic that seized the world due to inadequate leadership. So many civil uprisings, rallies, and rioting for change that was long overdue. Now, after the election in November 2021 is looking to be the start of that change.

When Biden and Harris won the election, I sighed with relief. While they might not be my number one pick for president and vice president, I think that they can get the ball rolling for the United States to improve for all of its people.

For some states it was time to elect new Senators, Georgia being one. What is so significant about Georgia is that it is a traditionally red state. It has been for a long time. And yet, for this election, Georgia flipped to blue, directly resulting in the White House, the Senate, and the House being blue.

The two new Senators, Jon Ossoff and Raphael Warnock, are not originally politicians. Ossoff was an investigative journalist and documentary film producer and Warnock a senior pastor of Ebenezer Baptist Church. I believe that the more non-political people we elect into positions of power, the more likely legislature will be passed for all people due to the diversification of personal, academic, and professional experiences of the people in power.

Warnock is the first Black Senator of Georgia, and this can only mean great things moving forward for communities of color. He might be the catalyst for even more people of color obtaining positions in state and federal governments. While I’m not from Georgia nor do I live in Georgia, I am excited to see what Warnock will help make happen to address the racism that has been running rampant.

However, I think the short term implications are worth considering. With the diversification of the government, it has exacerbated the tyranny of President Trump and the radical actions of ‘the proud boys’.

On January 6th, an armed mob stormed the U.S. Capitol in retaliation to the federal government turning blue. This was an act of domestic terrorism and yet President Trump did nothing to get the mob to leave. He did nothing to ensure the sanctity of the White House. All he did was condone their actions and allow them the privilege of destroying government property. The only thing on my mind as I watched this on the news is how if this mob was predominantly people of color, they would be shot before they even made it to the lawn.

I saw on the news a few days later that the mob planned to attack not only the U.S. Capitol again, but also all fifty capitols in the United States. CNN also said that if President Trump was impeached before the inauguration on January 20th, they will attack. Of course, there were death threats towards Biden, Harris, and House representative Pelosi.

I don’t know if these threats are still a concern, especially now that the House has impeached President Trump for the second time. Yes, beautiful progress is being made, but I worry about whether there will be a safe transition of power, and about whether President Trump and his ‘proud boys’ will be held accountable for their transgressions.

Similar Read: You Didn’t Vote for Biden, You Voted Against Trump

The 37th Best Place to Live in America

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In the late ’90s, my parents brought me home to a suburban town in northern Connecticut near the Massachusetts line. The town was quaint, with old houses touting 18th century New England, and a community that seemed to protect and serve one another. This was the town I always wanted to be a part of, and in many aspects today would like to have felt nostalgic for. However, when we celebrate the past, we always seem to glorify the beautiful parts, the memories that make us feel good rather than the brutal truth – and the truth is if I had grown up in 18th century New England, I would have been a slave – one of 5 in the town at the time.

But instead, I grew up in a town that was 92% white. The seemingly perfect town filled with church members, soccer moms, lovers of their community, has a glaringly dark past with racism. All that to say – that the town where I grew up is a place where black people make up only 2% of the total population and no one seemed to care.

We don’t talk about what it means to be such a small minority in a place that is reportable “safe” and a great place to live. I don’t disagree that it is “safe”, but these statistics are made by and for white people. My memories of the town are distorted but I know of the trials and tribulations that my family went through and other Black people, even if they try to hide behind high-end cars and responsibility politics. The truth is that towns like mine are “perfect” in theory because they intentionally exclude others who threaten their collective identity. They run away from the issues at hand and instead put on a shiny smile like parents attending their kid’s fundraising event, to deflect that they are in fact not perfect and sustained oppressive systems. If you are “perfect” then issues such as mental health, poverty, sexism, racism, and more don’t exist.

I went to school from kindergarten to high school here. I only had one black teacher in middle school who wanted to make me feel like I belonged. I didn’t. I knew it. And he did too. But he tried because he knew what I would be facing throughout my life. But the other teachers and neighbors were stronger, using their polite demeanors to constantly surveil and harass me into knowing my place. The racism tied with sexism, wealth discrimination, and prejudice because of my family’s status as black immigrants was psychological warfare served with a smile.

Fast forward to today while black men and women are killed constantly and our ideals of democracy for all are crumbling. I’m bombarded with fake activism on my social media feed and then puppies or someone’s trip to Long Island. It’s a weird type of dystopia. Justice still has not been served – not to Breonna Taylor, not to Trayvon Martin, not to George Floyd, and not to the 2% of Black alumni who attended these primarily white institutions alone. They all deserve better. We deserve better and I am empowered by the lives of other Black alumni and people of color across the nation; whose parents worked to put them into systems that would benefit them, only to realize those systems were not created for them. We are resilient, and we won’t be held to the standards of the systems that oppressed us. Now is the time to act. We are the 2%. Support black alumni in Connecticut and across the nation by signing the petition now.

Petition: Improve Racial Inclusivity in Tolland Public Schools

Biden His Time

by with No Comment FeaturedPolitics

Joe Biden appears to be a patient man. You don’t see him on the campaign trail lamenting all the negative aspects of the incumbent. While the pandemic is a significant part of the rationale behind his strategy, there’s another reason for not campaigning: The incumbent is doing it for him. 

Just a few weeks ago, Biden was under some intense scrutiny. The media was eagerly waiting to jump on the next gaffe that was almost guaranteed to happen. It didn’t. Like a magician’s redirection of a rapt audience’s attention, our collective dismay at the current spate of ramblings and vitriol from the person who currently occupies the White House is effectively making Biden’s past bumblings disappear.

Maybe it’s not so surprising that Biden’s potential running mate doesn’t appear to be a factor to many voters, according to a recent Politico poll. Biden is showing impressive leads in polls everywhere. Something to keep in mind: Polls mean nothing. They’re a gauge of voter sentiment at that particular moment, and are no indicator of what will happen in November. We have the evidence of our last election to remind us of that. 

Despite Trump’s efforts, his current attacks at Biden don’t seem to register much at all. They’re rather bland and uninteresting compared to what he’s spewed at other opponents in the past. Biden is far from bullet-proof, but Trump seems to be running out of ammo. He’s more focused on discrediting the scientific community for going against his blatantly uneducated and dangerous claims about our current healthcare crisis than he is on taking full measure of his opponent and addressing his base’s faltering blind faith. As Trump is fond of saying, if someone punches him, he punches right back. Forget the fact that the punches laid on Trump are richly deserved. Any schoolyard bully will cry foul when someone retaliates after constant abuse. It’s high time that the nation wake up to see the bully-in-chief for what he really is.

This distraction of Trump’s own making is serving Biden’s campaign well and is taking smart advantage of the situation. By keeping a low profile, Biden is showing a particular level of cunning that comes only from decades in politics. He knows that voters are becoming wise to Trump’s deadly refusal to acknowledge what the nation is facing, and is allowing the fallout to go its natural course.

Biden is under increasing pressure to show his hand, however. We still don’t know how many VP hopefuls are on the short list, and the self-imposed August 1 deadline to make a choice is fast approaching. What we do know is that odds are favoring a woman of color. That said, I think Biden is looking for a running mate that is happy to stay in the background – much like he was during Obama’s tenure. Will any of his potential picks be satisfied to do so? Hard to say, but women in politics are a tough and vocal bunch. And people of color who have spent years serving the public are equally tough and vocal. Biden will need to choose carefully.

The relationship between Biden and his running mate will need to be strongly based on trust, professionally and personally. This is critical if he is to have a successful campaign – and presidency. The friendship between Obama and Biden seemed genuine, and Biden’s quiet support during those two terms never seemed to waver. Can the same be said of our current democratic hopeful? The relationship between Trump and Pence is a different story, however. One needs only to scratch the surface to see what’s really going on there. But, that’s another story for another time.

This relative silence will soon come to an end, and Biden will have to show his cards. One can be assured, however, that his pick is unlikely to cause too much backlash. As long as Biden chooses well and can keep his unscripted and potentially damaging comments to a minimum, he just may make it to the White House. 

The old saying goes, “better the devil you know than the devil you don’t.” In this particular case, we’ve come to know both devils. To grab from another idiom, I would say that there is definitely a lesser evil here. 

Similar Read: 2016 Is About To Happen Again

Detroit Police Officer: “They Want Blood”

by with 2 Comments CultureFeatured

It’s a tough time to be in law enforcement. Police officers rarely weigh in and tell you what they think. And if they do, it’s off the record. Below is a Detroit Police Officer’s thoughts in response to a recent article discussing a young Black male being fatally shot by police after he opened fire on an officer in close range and attempted to flee.

The body cam footage is graphic, and many are calling it a justified shooting.

Officer’s Profile… (Black male / 27 years old / 4 years experience / married with two kids / resides in the city of Detroit):

“Was it or was it not a good shooting as in justified? He tried to kill a cop and wasn’t even the focus of the investigation. You know it’s aggravating that my people call me names, spit at me, and don’t appreciate what we do. But on that same block a week earlier, 8 people shot, 3 of the 8 are dead, and no 1 batted an eye. We shoot someone who shot at us first and we are vilified. I leave my house every day knowing I may not come home at night for people who don’t care about me. My mayor runs the city like a business. I love him dearly but at the same time, I want to feel appreciated for what we do. Day in and day out, the Chief crucifies us. This is the first time he’s stood behind us out the gate. The people of this city don’t want rationality, they want blood and a war for no reason. We don’t want to harm anyone… we want to make money and enjoy our lives. We are threatened on a day to day basis by the community that doesn’t trust us for things officers did in other states. Like honestly man, I wouldn’t mind walking away from this and only protecting my family and letting the criminals have the city. No1 says thank you. No1 says anything other than spit on the work we do.”

Referenced article: Brother of Hakim Littleton speaks out, wants meeting with Detroit city officials

Similar Read: Professional Fear

Debate Takeaways From An Unaffiliated Voter

by with No Comment FeaturedPolitics

Warren’s continuous attacks on Bloomberg seem to be excessive. Now, he may be all the slimeball a person can possibly be and if he is then he shouldn’t be running. I have zero tolerance for a slimeball presidential candidate. However, without knowing the details behind the attacks it just seems like a cheap shot because people are not going to look into it.

Sanders is consistent; not always right but he is consistent. If he wins, the debates with Trump will be nearly impossible to watch. Two advanced aged people stuck in their ways. Trump will win and people will be trying to get rid of the electoral college… again.

(Selfishly) Biden should’ve run in 2016. I think he’s losing his ability to make his points, and he needs to stop talking about how he wrote all the bills.

Steyer is good but he needs to drop out and endorse someone. Clearly, he doesn’t like Bernie. He’d be better off boosting Klobuchar or Pete.

Klobuchar is likely the best candidate but she’ll be out after Super Tuesday. I wish I could say more. I really like her.

Bloomberg looks annoyed with the process, his jokes are bad and he needs to get Warren to sign an NDA. ??‍♂️ He nearly said, “I bought the”… rather than “I donated to” the Democrats in the house.

Pete is gifted, but feels like he’s memorized talking points to court people of color. He seems very composed and I think he’ll be the best person to take on Trump attacks.

Gabbard (#NotPresent #PunIntended) will be the 3rd party candidate. Why else is she still running when she hasn’t been on a debate stage on 3 months?

Debate Winner: Trump. This debate was a mess due to the awful moderating by CBS.

Losers: CBS Moderators, clarity of points and the filibuster.

Look, I get that people want to get rid of the filibuster and go to a simple majority vote in the Senate. Put it this way, think about all of the laws that would’ve passed in the first 2 years of the Trump presidency if he only needed 50 votes. I would much rather have a rule law that states all bills passed in either chamber have to be voted on within 60 days. It’s time to put our elected officials on the record. If that doesn’t make you happy then reduce the super-majority to 57 votes, but don’t get rid of it altogether. I agree something has to change, but change can’t be as easy as getting a simple majority in both chambers.

Still don’t know who I’m voting for.

Similar Read: Warren and Pete Showed Up… Bloomberg Hit, Amy Flustered

The Importance of Mental Health Through The Mouths of Gen Z

by with No Comment FeaturedGen Z

Being part of “Generation Z” is something I enjoy for many reasons. One of them being that my generation has started and furthered conversations on important topics like mental health. Something that was once seen as taboo is now discussed more openly, and many of us recognize that mental health is just as important as physical health and should be taken seriously. Mental health is a broad topic and I struggled with what direction I wanted this piece to take. It came to me that the obvious solution was to include my perspective and perspectives from other people within my age group, then let the responses speak for themselves. I used a platform that my generation is familiar with: social media. Instagram allows users to post questions to their stories where people can respond, so I asked questions about important aspects of the topic: our generations’ approach to discussing mental health vs. the approach taken by earlier generations, how mental health care is viewed in our communities, and our definitions of self-care.

What has Gen Z done correctly & incorrectly when attempting to destigmatize conversations around mental health and bring it to the forefront?

No generation is perfect, and although I praise my generation for being open and honest about mental health, we do have our shortcomings. 

Responses were similar, stating that our generation does a good job of being vocal about it, discussing it freely instead of treating mental health problems like they’re shameful and should be hidden. When responding to what Gen Z needs work on, our coping mechanisms were criticized. One response said that while using humor to cope with issues is good, it gets misused to the point where it becomes a joke. A similar response said that our generation can sometimes make a mockery of it.

Since this piece focuses on Gen Z’s approach to mental health care, I thought there should be a comparison of previous generations’ approaches, to see the differences and what progress we’ve made. The responses all said that the older generation had an opposite approach and didn’t really address the issue at all. Getting help/healing wasn’t encouraged, and problems weren’t taken seriously. My friend stated that in the Black community, older people have a habit of “shoving it down,” which is something that I’ve witnessed so many times, and closely related to my next question.

Is mental health taken seriously in your community?

I made sure to ask this question because the stigma of mental health can vary in different communities. In the Black community, people often view mental illness as a “white person problem,” judging those who go to therapy or take meds. They may also be told that mental illness is “demonic” and will go away if they go to church, pray, or read the bible. While there’s nothing wrong with using your faith to deal with hard times, there’s a stigma around other avenues of help, a stigma that must be broken. Responses from two of my friends (who both identify as Black) stated the same thing. A response from a girl who is Bengali, said that people don’t take it seriously or view it as a joke, showing that not treating mental health care like the life-altering issue that it is, exists in different communities of color, which harms young POC.

How do you define self-care?

Self-care has become a buzzword in the past 2 years, so I wanted to include definitions of self-care created by young people. According to my friends, self-care is eliminating elements in your life that bring unnecessary stress/pressure, and finding healthy ways to cope when you feel you’re straining yourself. It means doing whatever makes you feel at peace whether it’s listening to podcasts, music, or reading a book. The answers that resonated with me the most were the responses acknowledging that self-care also means doing things that you don’t want to do, but need to. “Self-care is taking a step back and recognizing that you have to take care of yourself in ways beyond what you might actually want to, and confronting yourself with reality, while still being forgiving and kind to yourself in order to grow.” Furthermore, “self-care to me is all about bringing attention to yourself. Addressing the things that bother you or cause you to worry is the best thing you can do for yourself.” 

I really enjoyed hearing my peers’ opinions on mental health. We agree that taking care of your mental state is so important and that our generation has a different way of stressing the importance. While our generation still has things to work on—like learning when “humor as a coping mechanism” has gone too far and not encouraging unhealthy coping methods—we have a lot to say about how necessary mental health care is and what steps can be taken to create a world where people can be open about their issues and get help. We’re committed to making progress, which we have and should be proud of. 

Similar Read: The Duality of Social Media

Bulletproof Backpacks, a 2019 Back-to-School Essential?

by with 2 Comments FeaturedGen Z

New anxieties emerge with the return of the school year in the wake of multiple mass shootings. 

I had never seen someone look so brave holding up a broom as a weapon. As all my peers and I hid against the wall, many crying softly, my teacher stood by the door barricaded with desks and held the plastic pole ready for whatever might emerge. No amount of active shooter drills prepares a child – or anyone – for the fear of a lockdown. That was in the sixth grade, and now as a college student, that same experience feels like it could repeat itself at any moment.  

After the mass shooting incidents in El Paso and Ohio, it does not come as much of a surprise that some parents are opting out of purchasing their children Barbie and Star Wars backpacks for bulletproof bags. On Aug. 5 2019, when I received an email from Temple University’s President addressing recent safety concerns, I thought maybe it wasn’t so ridiculous after all. According to CBS Philly, Patrick Buhler, a Bucks County man was arrested and charged with terroristic threats and harassment. Buhler bought several boxes of ammunition, as well as knives and propane bottles from Walmart locations. While he was purchasing five boxes of ammo, he asked a customer about Temple University’s security and its campus police. 

Democratic presidential candidates, Senator Elizabeth Warren, Bernie Sanders, Senator Cory Booker, and Julián Castro have called on Walmart to stop selling guns. The company is one of the leading sellers of guns and ammunition in the country. ABC News reported Walmart is pulling violent displays, but will continue to sell firearms. An internal company memo obtained by the Associated Press instructed Walmart employees to unplug Xbox and PlayStation consoles that show violent video games and shut off hunting videos in the vicinity of where guns are sold. The truth is though, no amount of active shooter drills, bulletproof backpacks, or removal of violent displays will save us from the gun culture that has become normalized in the United States.

According to USA Today, the mass shootings in Texas and Ohio may also prompt the Supreme Court to delay hearing cases that could expand Second Amendment rights. Proponents of gun rights say the violence should not hinder the Supreme Court Justices from pushing their agenda. To this, I agree. Change can not purely be catalyzed in the face of tragedy. The lives lost in Dayton and El Paso, is only one story in a string of devastation. The Atlantic reported the United States has witnessed nearly 2,200 mass shootings since the 2012 Sandy Hook massacre, according to data from the Gun Violence Archive. 

This new anxiety from mass shootings is not only present in people with loved ones returning to school, but in many Americans when entering public spaces. People recently took to Twitter to share their respective fears. Geraldine DeRuiter posted her sentiment in a tweet that instantly went viral: “whenever I’m in a public space, I think about what would happen if a mass shooting broke out. It’s a constant, low-level anxiety that follows me everywhere. I wonder if it’s just me. I don’t think it is.” Buzzfeed News said DeRuiter received a slew of responses from individuals scared to be in classrooms, movie theaters, churches, etc. This concern recently became even more tangible to me when my cousin declined an invitation to go to a street festival because she was anxious about walking in a highly-populated open space.

The recent attacks highlight issues that go beyond gun violence, namely the El Paso shooting and the animosity it carries towards people of color. According to the New York Times, the suspect, Patrick W. Crusius, 21, who is a White male, told police that he had targeted Mexicans. Crusius wrote a four-page manifesto that said he was carrying out the attack in “response to the Hispanic invasion of Texas.” Hate crimes like this become even more incomprehensible when public figures like Fox News host Tucker Carlson declares on-air that White supremacy is a “hoax.”

This summer I worked as an English language teacher for high school students from Spain. It was heartbreaking to me that a majority of the students were eager to get answers about the presence of guns during our presentation on campus safety from Drexel University Police. It was sad that neither I nor the police officer had a substantial answer, but it was also a reality check. America, we need to do better. 

Similar Read: Guns Are Here To Stay 

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Kamala or Bust?

by with 5 Comments CultureFeaturedPolitics

California U.S. Senator Kamala Harris (D) is running for President of the United States. So are three other women.  She is joining a field of candidates who will be nothing short of amazing. Women and men of color are declaring their candidacies and that in itself is historic.  What’s also historic is 2020 will have more women candidates run than ever before.  There are so many positives to celebrate, but Democrats are too busy tearing down their own candidates before any debates even start.

Specifically, there’s lots of debate around Kamala. She’s a historically black college or university (HBCU) graduate, born to immigrant parents, pledged a Panhellenic sorority, Alpha Kappa Alpha, Inc. and most notably the former top cop of California, having served as the State’s Attorney General.

We can now dismiss with the pleasantries because the not-Kamala-choir is ready to sing. Since she made her presidential announcement, which was literally 2 days ago on the Martin Luther King Jr. Holiday, several articles have come out about her. Some are in support, but many are critical of her record as San Francisco Attorney General and her state role as Attorney General.  Even more, there has been a ton of social media traffic about her race. And even more than the social media traffic is the HBCU stans and notably Howard University graduates and students who are vehemently defending her existence.

As a graduate of an HBCU, I understand the pride that comes with seeing one of our own run for any elected office, let alone running for president. And as a graduate of Howard University I also understand how my fellow alumnae might walk around with our heads held high and our egos on 10000. However, one thing the HBCU and Howard experience has taught me is to trust but verify. Measure twice and cut once.

As an ardent supporter of women running for office I am elated to see a woman of color run for president after the historic run of Shirley Chisholm. After Hillary Clinton’s historic run in 2016, I think there is an urgent need to have a woman president. Heck we need more women in elected office everywhere. And we definitely need more women of color. But again, it is important that we give Kamala the same critical assessment that we are giving all other candidates, Democrat, Independent and Republican. The blind loyalty and undying support of her candidacy can be exciting if you are going to support her without any consideration of another candidate. But to do so because she went to your school or pledged your sorority is questionable.

Over the last few weeks, several articles have come out about her time as a prosecutor. Some of her actions have been questioned in pieces like The New York Times opinion piece and the article written in The Intercept about her survival as a candidate in the age of the Black Lives Matter movement. These articles point out her stances on controversial cases that some would deem “on the wrong side” of convictions or her silence on stances she might have taken on issues related to criminal justice.  But there are also pieces written that highlight many of her reforms and why she is favorited to get an endorsement by former President Barack Obama.  Notwithstanding her professional experience, which she will have to explain, it would be prudent for all to carefully consider why you support her candidacy over collegiate and social group affiliations.  Afterall, attending a ‘proclaimed’ elite university and joining a sorority has yet to prove anyone is ready to become the next president.

This article was originally published on 1 January 2019.

A POC Undefined

by with 6 Comments CultureFeaturedGen Z

I am exoticized, and my olive skin, my big brown eyes, and black hair that falls in loose curls are the culprits. I am quick to be labeled as anything that will make everyone else comfortable: Latina, Indian, Asian, and etc. I am objectified with “Hey light skin” and “Hey Mami,” and the contours of my body are to blame. “I want to get to know you,” they will say. However, they only want to get to know this body that is the physical embodiment of the unknown. I am just a rare commodity.

People tend to not look beyond my appearance because it is too mysterious. It is truly baffling because you cannot tell ‘what’ I am by just looking at me. Get-to-know-you questions always begin with, “What are you mixed with?” My answer is never satisfactory, and therefore, people will argue with me about how I identify. At the end of the day, it is no one’s business but mine what my genetic makeup is unless I choose to make it their business.

I am a multiracial woman, but more often than not I am not accepted as such. I can distinctly remember in high school, this guy pestered me about what I am. After a while, I stopped dodging the question and gave him an answer. He kept telling me that I wasn’t that. He kept telling me that I was Indian and that I should stop lying and saying that I’m Black. It is funny to me that people already have an answer to their question, yet they still waste their breath on asking me anyway. It is as if verification is needed for them to feel the way they do about me, to think what they want about me. 

I am too Black to be White, too White to be Black, and not enough Native American to claim my heritage. Growing up was difficult because there were racial cliques. My being multiracial made me the outsider to all of them. I ‘didn’t understand’ the struggles of thick, coarse hair management. I was ‘privileged’ for my lighter complexion, but was still overlooked to favor my White counterparts. I knew nothing about the reserves and the fight to keep those sacred grounds sacred, to defend against industrialization. I wanted to belong to something so much that I denounced everything that wasn’t Black and made that my new identity, but that only made matters worse. It gave way to incidents much like the one with the guy from high school. 

All of my experiences bred a level of self-loathing for being different. I have never wanted anything more than to be able to not stand out wherever I go. I wanted to be able to just go about life without being questioned in most conversations about my race. Now, being a young adult, I’m learning to love the melanin in my skin that allows me to be pale like butterscotch in the winter and dark as cognac in the summer. I’m learning to appreciate each curve of my body and not try to diminish myself every time I step foot out of the house. That is doing myself a disservice.

I am a Person of Color, and never will I ever again be ashamed of being more than just one color. 

Similar Read: I’m Tired of “Wokeness”

This article was originally published on 12 February 2019.