If the thought of seeing your family around the holidays makes you nervous, you’re not alone. As the political Black Sheep in my family, I understand what it’s like to spend time around people you love, but entirely disagree with. Mixing differing political beliefs with family love can be a very difficult crossroads to be stuck at. They’re your family and you love them and don’t want to fight, but political beliefs can have strong feelings behind them. So what do you do? How do you push past your differences and share in the joy of the holiday season?
After the 2016 election, my mother tried to incite a “no politics” rule for holiday dinner conversation. However, rules like that are easy to say but harder to follow. If your family is anything like mine, political conversation is basically inevitable. So how do you deal with it? When I was younger I would try to fight back. I would get angry and upset, which naturally only made things worse. It’s hard to bite your tongue when you hear things you disagree with so strongly, but after a while I learned that fighting back would only add fuel to the fire. I quickly realized I was outnumbered and no matter what I said or how I worded it, there was no winning for me.
If you find yourself in a similar situation, my best suggestion is to find someone else to talk to. Whether you find someone who agrees with you or even just someone who doesn’t want to talk politics, whoever you find will help you feel a little less alone. For me, this person is my brother. Although he has learned to stay quiet like I have, even just having someone to shoot a glance at when you hear something you don’t agree with goes a long way.
Another tactic you can employ is changing the subject when the conversation gets too heated. During the holidays my mother tries her best to cut off any political conversation as soon as it starts, that way it never even has the chance to escalate. Political conversations can easily turn into fights. If you can redirect the conversation before it even begins, then there’s no fight to have to diffuse later.
The holidays are supposed to be a time of joy and happiness surrounded by loved ones. Talking politics may make for an interesting debate, but the subject can be very touchy and can easily take a turn for the worst. The important thing to remember is that regardless of what you say, people are very unlikely to actually change their opinions. So why cause yourself the stress? Talking politics during the holidays is far more likely to lead to a fight rather than a productive conversation. Save everyone the hassle and leave the politics at the door so everyone can have an enjoyable holiday season.
This article was originally published on 12 December 2018.
