Respectful Journalism… and Kobe’s Past

by with No Comment CultureFeaturedSports

There’s been a lot of debate about how many journalists have chosen to focus on Kobe’s 2003 rape allegation just moments after the news broke about him and his daughter dying in a helicopter crash on the morning of Sunday, January 26, 2020.

That same afternoon, Felicia Sonmez, a political reporter for the Washington Post, tweeted a 2016 Daily Beast article entitled, “Kobe Bryant’s Disturbing Rape Case: The DNA Evidence, the Accuser’s Story, and the Half-Confession.” People were outraged and quick responded to her tweet. Sonmez deleted her initial tweet but the damage had already been done.

Tracy Grant, a managing editor at The Washington Post, released a statement on Monday (1/27):

“Sonmez was placed on administrative leave while The Post reviews whether tweets about the death of Kobe Bryant violated The Post newsroom’s social media policy… the tweets displayed poor judgment that undermined the work of her colleagues.” 

Did she display poor judgement?

Perhaps Lindsey Granger (below), a former journalist and current talk show host from the Daily Blast Live, offers a much-needed perspective on the role journalists should play in the immediate aftermath of such a conflicting and tragic incident. 

Similar Read: Mamba’s Gone, And We Just Can’t Believe It

The Alabama Human Life Protection Act

by with No Comment CultureFeaturedPolitics

The Alabama Human Life Protection Act, a controversial bill that criminalizes abortion and attempted abortion, was enacted on May 15th, 2019. This act categorizes abortion as homicide and a Class A felony while attempted abortion is now considered a Class C felony. Section 2 letter I, compare the casualties of the Holocaust, the Soviet Regime, and the Rwandan genocide to the estimated “50 million babies… aborted in the United States since Roe v. Wade passed in 1973.” The legislation also defines an unborn child, child, or person as “a human being, specifically including an unborn child in utero at any stage of development, regardless of viability.” It also defines a woman as “a female human being, whether or not she has reached the age of maturity”, (House Bill 314, section 3). One of the most problematic aspects of the bill includes the lack of exception for abortions in the case of impregnation through rape or incest. The passing of the law has resulted in backlash along with praise from those who agree with the legislation.

Not only is this bill incredibly heinous for its lack of empathy but for its lack of inclusion. HB 314 denies any person that is able to get pregnant the choice to terminate that pregnancy, but specifically protects women or “female” people from criminal charges if the mother’s life is at risk. While it is possible for any person of any gender to receive an abortion, this rhetoric does not allow the same protections for trans and non-binary folk, only cis-gender women. Ericka Hart, a queer Black femme, activist, and an accomplished teacher of sex education discusses the dangers that go beyond the bill itself. She states, “One day, people are sharing about abortion being a “women’s issue” – intentionally leaving out trans people and the next day, they are sharing about the death of Black trans women. If the only time you talk about trans existence is when we are gone, you aren’t helping”. Ericka’s studies and work focus on the systemic and historical events that allow for White supremacist, sexist, transphobic and homophobic bills to pass.

This bill will have a significant impact on poor minorities specifically when Black maternal death is a profound and prevalent issue, and currently at an all-time high. There is little to no access to contraception and proper sex education for the impoverished. While the wealthy and middle class can afford birth control, condoms and emergency contraceptives these products are not accessible to people without sufficient income or insurance. When rhetoric like “pro-life” is used it demonizes people who get abortions by implying that they are anti-life or pro-murder. The use of this language creates stigma for people who have already had abortions as well as those in need of an abortion. This stigma leads to shame and isolation which can end in lethal circumstances. To take away the right to a sterile and proper abortion puts countless lives at risk and puts immense financial stress on families. Prioritizing a life that has not yet begun over a life that has current meaningful existence and relationships is hypocritical. The right using the term “pro-life” is a manipulation tactic born out of the desperate need to maintain power and control.

The abortion ban in Alabama brings attention to a lot of systemic issues that plague many government bodies and society as a whole. It is important for the public to be educated correctly on whom these bills affect the most. Unfortunately, the attention tends to gravitate towards the most privileged and powerful leading to the silencing and erasure of marginalized voices. This ban will have negative effects on many and in some cases lead to life-threatening or lethal circumstances. In times like this, it is vital to prioritize those who face immediate danger in the rise of this ban. Audre Lorde, a Black, lesbian, poet, and educator stated, “The master’s tool will never dismantle the master’s house.” This quote remains relevant and impactful in the present. It can help to explain how powerful structures have maintained control and are able to pass an oppressive and dangerous bill like HB 314. If radical and revolutionary means are not taken society cannot progress and the marginalized will continue to suffer at the expense of our collective silence.

Ericka Hart: Twitter, Instagram 

Similar Read: Legal Attack on Women’s Rights to Choose (How Did We Get Here?)

Legal Attack on Women’s Right to Choose (How Did We Get Here?)

by with 3 Comments CultureFeaturedPolitics

There is a calculated attack happening across this country. It’s an attack on women and their bodies. In the past month, we have seen state legislative bodies in Missouri, Ohio, and Georgia pass restrictive abortion laws. Last week we saw the Alabama Senate pass a ban and the Governor, Kay Ivey, signed it into law. Georgia’s Governor, Brian Kemp, also signed a controversial abortion bill, the heartbeat bill, into law. But the bill signed by Ivy in Alabama is currently the most restrictive in the country. The bill signed by Ivy bans abortions — with the exception of when the life of the mother is in jeopardy — in all circumstances. Stop and read that sentence again. If a woman is raped or a victim of incest, according to the Alabama law, she must carry it to full term.

This is extreme to say the least. This bill along with the others passed in Georgia, Ohio, and Missouri all seem to be aimed at one thing, getting their legal challenges heard at the Supreme Court. If legal challenges get to that level then Pandora’s box is open for the Roe v. Wade debate.  Ohio passed a fetal heartbeat bill, which would ban a woman from having an abortion once a heartbeat is detected. Some state legislative bodies are even calling it a 6-week ban, a time when some women may not even know they are pregnant. Georgia’s Governor Kemp signed something similar. In Tennessee, the legislative house passed a 6-week heartbeat bill, but it was defeated in the state Senate and sent to summer study, but is likely to be reintroduced next legislative season.

It would be convenient to rant about the way men are legislating over women’s bodies and giving them no chance to discuss or fight back against that legislation. Instead, I want to challenge you to relive a brief rundown of events that have gotten us to 2019 and the heartbeat bills. The breakdown is below:

  1. 2008-2009: America elects the first Black president, Barack Obama. 
  2. Early 2010: SCOTUS rules in ‘Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission (FEC)’ that political spending is a form of free speech that’s protected under the First Amendment. The controversial 5-4 decision effectively opened the door for corporations and unions to spend unlimited amounts of money to support their chosen political candidates. Hate that your politicians are bought and sold by corporations? Blame this.
  3. Late 2010: Ahead of the midterms, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell vows to make President Obama a “one-term president” and Republicans declare a nationwide takeover of state legislatures. This begins the slow but steady Republican calculation to take over.
  4. 2010 Midterms: Thanks to the Citizens United case, Republicans flood the airwaves with political advertising to influence down-ballot elections. Republicans pick up 675 state legislative seats; swept several governorships, including Tennessee; and Republican control increased from 14 states to 26 state legislatures. They also take control of the U.S. House of Representatives, winning 58 seats.
  5. 2011: Now that Republicans effectively have the states on lock, states begin to enact strict voter ID laws, including Alabama, Mississippi, South Carolina, Texas, and TN.
  6. 2012: President Obama is re-elected. All is well with the world because we now have the Affordable Care Act (aka: Obamacare) and our president is still Black.
  7. 2013: The Supreme Court (SCOTUS) guts the Voting Rights Act of 1965 in the ‘Shelby County v. Holder’ case. As in, Shelby County, Alabama versus Attorney General Eric Holder. As in, the (same) Voting Rights Act championed by Civil Rights activists like Dr. Martin Luther King and Congressman John Lewis. The ruling basically said, nope racism doesn’t exist anymore so Southern states no longer need permission (i.e. “preclearance”) from the federal government to change their voting laws. The decision allowed 846 jurisdictions to close, move or change the availability of local polling places (mostly in predominantly African American counties) without federal oversight. There were also cuts to early voting and purges of voter rolls. Virtually all restrictions on voting after the ruling were by Republicans.
  8. 2014: Things begin to take a turn for the worst. Republicans continue their congressional takeover during the 2014 midterms. Republicans gained control of U.S. Senate and picked up more seats in the U.S. House of Representatives.
  9. Early 2016: Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia dies. His death begins the conversation about who will replace him and President Obama is granted option to choose. Obama chooses Merrick Garland, but both the Republican senators and Democratic senators have to vote on his nomination. Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell blocks the nomination, claiming it’s too close to a presidential election so the next president should pick. 
  10. Late 2016: Donald Trump is elected president. Now Republicans are in control of the legislative branch and executive branch. Time to take over the judicial branch.
  11. 2017: Trump has his eye on the SCOTUS pick left vacant by Obama. 
  12. By nominating conservative judge Neil Gorsuch to the Supreme Court. (Remember, elections have consequences, and in 2014, just 36.4% of eligible voters nationwide turned out in 2014 – the lowest since World War II—and Republicans gained control of the Senate, who confirms all federal judges.)
  13. Fast forward to 2018 and by now, 34 states have some form of voter ID laws. Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy announces his retirement. Trump nominates Brett Kavanagh as his replacement. Senate confirms Kavanaugh in October, shortly before the midterms, solidifying the bench as a reliably conservative 5-4 majority.

It’s now 2019 and Republicans control the state legislature in 31 states. That is over half the country. Congress is divided – Democrats took back the House in 2018, but Republicans still control the Senate, Presidency, and Supreme Court.

What we are seeing play out today is a deliberate playbook, run by American Legislative Executive Council, also known as ALEC. This is the conservative right-wing organization that essentially creates all the bills and runs them through state legislative, congressional and Senate bodies across this country. They can’t do it unless our elected officials agree to push their proposed legislation. It’s interesting to note that ALEC will pay for members of Congress to attend some of their meetings where they discuss policy and legislation. Elected officials then go back to their respective seats and run their (ALEC) bills. Ultimately, the bills introduced by legislative branches across the country are so egregious and blatantly unconstitutional in an attempt to move the battle to friendly territory – the courts. And we see this happening with the abortion bills across the South. And in case you want even more examples let’s take another look at some recent history and see how there is calculation about the process of moving controversial legislation to the court system.

As soon as Trump became president he introduced the Muslim travel ban. A few judges across the country struck it down because they believed it was unconstitutional. It is now an active open court battle, but the dangerous part is Trump has already had two successful appointees to the Supreme Court and has been placing members on the Circuit Courts as well. This is important to note because states can fight these laws and challenge them, but if they end up in a court where a judge has been appointed by Trump or has a conservative view of the law then these abortion laws could be upheld along with other extreme laws coming out of Republican-led legislatures.

Trump has called for the separation of migrant families at the border. Again, this is something that judges are challenging and it’s heading to legal proceedings within the judicial system. The Secretary of Education, Betsy Devos, and her team are challenging public education with school vouchers. Legal proceedings will take place. Again, this will be headed to the courts. Voter registration is also under attack in states like Tennessee pushing the envelope and criminalizing the civic act. The American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) is suing and guess where this will end up, in court. And let’s not forget about the 2020 census. The President is trying hard to remove some provisions on how Americans are counted, which will affect funding for states. There are lots of unknowns about the upcoming census, but one thing that will likely take place – a court battle.

When we talk about the calculated attack on women and their bodies, we have to look at how long this has been in play. The attack on abortion laws are systematically set up to eventually end up in the Supreme Court in an attempt to overturn Roe v. Wade. We should be upset about abortion bans. Louisiana has a case before the Supreme Court and we should all pay close attention to its outcome. It’s a law that would force doctors to have admitting privileges at a hospital within 30 miles of where an abortion is performed, a structure that those opposed to the law insist violates the “undue burden” notion. In 2016 the state of Texas had a similar bill struck down in court.

We will begin to see court cases pop up about abortion bans because as soon as they are signed, they will immediately be appealed. It will be up to state judges, first, to decide their fate and with the stacking of conservative judges across the country we can only hope women’s right to choose is just as important to them as forcing a woman to carry an unwanted baby that the government doesn’t want to financially support once it gets here. 

We Care So Much, That You Have No Rights

by with No Comment CultureFeaturedPolitics

A point of view from a frustrated man who’s questioning other men’s point of view.

I just finished reading an article written by a fellow contributor to The LCR, Cynthia Swiss: Alabama Abortion Is Taking Women Back To The Dark Ages. After reading the article, I had to take a moment and gather my thoughts and emotions because I agreed with every point Cynthia had made in her article. Having had the pleasure and honor of being raised and guided by powerful, empowering, no-nonsense women all my life, taking a moment to fully understand the consequences of the abortion ban and how so many other states in the MidWest are following suit gave me pause.

It’s a surreal moment when you take a step back and look in realizing that there are so many women out there and young girls now that will have to live in more fear than before. Not only is their God-given right to maintain, manage and decide what to do with their bodies being stripped away before our very eyes, but now even rape and incest seem to lose their severity in consequences.  

Why? because the only person that seems to indeed pay for it will be women, regardless of the situation, unless her life is in danger. Really? That’s the best we can do? That’s how we show our intelligence, respect, appreciation, and understanding of women in America? By telling them, they have NO choice but to carry pregnancies to term, because we care about life?

LOL, wait… that’s the reason? Really? WE CARE ABOUT LIFE? Oh man, we are unique, aren’t we? I mean, this is Gold. WE CARE ABOUT LIFE… We care so much about life that we bomb indiscriminately hospitals, schools, and population-centric areas that are FILLED with children to protect our “interests.”

We care so much about life, that the moment the child is born, we stop caring. Because the goal is to bring more life on this planet right, strictly? I mean, who cares if the mother can raise the child, emotionally, financially, or mentally. WE CARE ABOUT LIFE. THAT’S ALL THAT MATTERS!

I mean, we care so much that we lock up immigrant children in detention camps and facilities where they are abused and RAPED! Because We care.

We care so much about life, that if a woman is raped or is a victim of incest, her ability to be supported, emotionally and mentally to recover as well as be given justice for such a heinous act is not essential. Because the “life” she is carrying IS meaningful, so her ability to have a say on her body or to have support from the government, or the law is irrelevant. 

Look, I hold no influence on you, the reader, or anyone else except myself. Moreover, as a man, the craziest thing about this issue is that I have complete control over what is done or how it is done to my body in every conceivable way! However, the opposite sex is having all their liberties and rights questioned and taken away. 

We do not have the right to control what a woman does, or does not do with her body. Why it is taking us close to 5,000+ years to understand that and accept? That is probably one of the many reasons why my frustration with the human race grows a little more with every passing year. Especially when such draconian measures are taken to control, dictate, and humiliate those that our race biologically, emotionally, mentally, and physically cannot do without – Women. 

Similar Read: ALABAMA ABORTION BAN IS IS TAKING WOMEN BACK TO THE DARK AGES

ALABAMA ABORTION BAN IS TAKING WOMEN BACK TO THE DARK AGES

by with 3 Comments CultureFeaturedPolitics

As the news of the Alabama abortion ban reached my ears, I got shivers down my entire body. A body that I own, that I cherish–most days at least–, a body I now realize that some men think doesn’t actually belong to me.

Back in the Middle Ages, men were actually convinced women, dripping blood once a month, were the incarnation of Satan, orgasms were a devilish force men were warned not to release and the uterus was held responsible for every strange ailment women seemed to be so prone to displaying, such as… sadness. You would think people in 2019 know better. You would be mistaken then.

By denying women the right to own their bodies and to decide whether or not they feel ready to bring a child into this world, these men bring us back to these dark ages of ignorance and cruel patriarchy. By excluding rape and incest as valid reasons to deny women, and unfortunately sometimes girls, the right to overcome nature and make a rational decision, these men show how little they know about women, abortion and health. By implementing the heartbeat rule, they demonstrate their lack of awareness of basic biology. Unless you’ve been trying for a baby and are taking pregnancy tests regularly, or have a very regular cycle, 6 weeks is often the moment the pregnancy is discovered. I was 8 weeks pregnant when my gynecologist told me there was no heartbeat. After enduring a very traumatic surgical procedure to clear my uterus, as I was crying my heart out my (male) therapist told me, “You haven’t lost a baby. You’ve lost a fetus.” So it’s fine to rationalize when nature takes its course, but not when a woman takes control of her body? I never went back to this therapist. To this day, it remains one of the most unacceptable things I’ve been told because when you deeply want a baby, or when you get pregnant and feel ready to be a mother, the baby is not only in your belly, but also in your head, in your dreams, in your future.

On the other hand, when the pregnancy is not wanted or can’t be carried out willingly, it turns into a nightmare or a haunting dilemma. What should be taken into account is the potential wreckage of two lives, maybe more, compared to the benefits of constraining a woman to give birth. By refusing to acknowledge most women seeking abortions, especially in searing-poor areas and countries, are victims, and will probably struggle to come to terms with what they had to do, these men confirm that they, in fact, are not men: they are self-entitled idiots with bigotry-caked brains. Sadly, one of them was elected president of the United States, and rallied his peers, swarming over progress like maggots over an open wound. By refusing to accept that men are responsible for their own bodies as well perpetuates a supremacy based on one thing, and one thing only: the medieval fear of women.

Whether a rapist needs a knife, a gun or his hands around a woman’s neck to gain access to her genitals, whether an uncle or a family friend need threats and promises to convince a little girl not to tell anyone that they share a very special secret, whether a husband or boyfriend refuses the use of contraception or press for one more child, whether any religious leader or authority pretends that birth control is against His law, they are all committing the same act of violence against the very beings on whose existence our survival depends. Contraception does not always work, doctors are sometimes wrong, timing may not be adequate, and these are only a tiny portion of the reasons that may lead a woman to end a pregnancy. And you can take my word that any woman who had to undergo this is somehow scarred. Even if she knows there was nothing else she could do. The pro-life argument has to be about the woman in the first place, and empowering girls, giving them the assurance they can choose what is best for them, providing easy and safe access to contraception, ensuring both boys and girls get adequate sex-ed and the right talks on consent, mutual respect and dignity is the only way abortion numbers will fall. Criminalizing abortions will result in tragic deaths, suicides or illegal abortions. Angel makers will operate in backrooms at the cost of human lives, again.

Actress Alyssa Milano suggested a sex strike. What if tomorrow women decided to go on reproductive strike? What if the access to a woman’s reproductive organs were denied indefinitely? What if women decided to force vasectomy on all men by passing a bill stating that males don’t know what they’re doing with themselves and need to be put under strict control, without exception? Or what if we decided to offer these men the Godly mission of caring for all those abandoned children waiting for parents in orphanages? After all, that would solve so many problems, all at once. I have never, ever, heard of a place where men abide by women’s decisions regarding their sexuality. I wish such a place didn’t exist, to be honest. Because the only person who is allowed to make decisions regarding their body and organic functions is the person who lives in that body. Women need to stick together and fight back against this retrograde oppression. And if there’s one thing that is even more unbelievable than a bunch of male politicians imposing such a senseless decision in order to “protect life”, it is women sharing their point of view.

At some point in my life, I had to make the hardest decision of all. I did get an abortion. My doctor had told me there was no way I would ever get pregnant without strong medication. I had already had a miscarriage, so after years of infertility, it felt as if nature was playing the cruelest trick on me. With a future father who chickened out of the picture as fast and sneakily as he could, a family who was appalled at the situation and studies to complete, my choice was the rational one. I was not going to make so many people, including an innocent child, suffer. I still think about it when I look at my beautiful sons, who wouldn’t have been born if I hadn’t made this heartbreaking decision back then. Nurses, doctors, anesthesiologists, counsellors… they were all sorry for me and knew how lonely and desperate I was. A few years later, I sought advice and group therapy helped a lot to appease my grief and guilt. I’m glad and proud to say that in Switzerland, there are measures to protect women who seek such procedures, which are performed in hospitals or private clinics (abortion clinics don’t exist) and paid for by health insurance, and no one is hurling abuse at women entering these facilities to make them suffer through their “walk of shame.” If there were, I’d take my sons and my students there to teach them about dignity, freedom and solidarity. 

You Have Failed Your Goddesses

by with No Comment Featured

A close friend of mine emailed me an article this morning with a simple statement in the subject line, “This is crazy.” It was about the third rape incident in a week involving another teenage girl who was sexually assaulted and burned alive.

She was molested in her own home by a man who then doused her in petrol and set her on fire when she threatened to tell her family about the incident. What makes this terrible story even worse and fills me with rage and disgust is that one of the perpetrators who was arrested is her cousin.

Each woman is a Goddess in her own right. Songs are dedicated to them, stories and poems of bravery, courage, and love are written about them, and wars have been fought over them.

Women are the very foundation of our civilization; yet, for some unknown reason, we do not or perhaps will not acknowledge their worth or humanity.

No country in this world shows its lack of respect and disvalue for women more than India. There are 28 Goddesses in Hinduism, 28 powerful female entities that incorporate every known emotion and ability – from love and guidance to vengeance and wrath.

Millions of people in India as well as around the world worship them and go to unbelievable lengths to show their devotion and reverence, but for some inexplicable reason that admiration and respect does not transfer to the women that live within the Indian population.

Where and When did India fail its women? Well for starters, there is a strong possibility the female fetus will be aborted because of the stigma that women are a burden to the family, and that they cannot earn or inherit their family’s property and wealth like a male heir can. Moreover, baby girls are killed after birth, leading to a ridiculously skewed sex ratio. Those who survive this horrible rite of passage then face discrimination, prejudice, violence, and in extreme cases face neglect all their lives, regardless of being single or married.

TrustLaw, a news platform run by Thomson Reuters, has ranked India as the worst G20 nation for women to live. Their ranking is astounding, considering the fact that the leader of the ruling party, the speaker of the lower house of parliament, at least three chief ministers, and many sports, entertainment, and business icons in India are women.

In 2016, there were roughly 40,000 reported cases of rape in India. The majority of victims range between 16-30, and disturbingly enough 94% of the victims knew their offenders. Neighbors account for a third of the offenses, while parents and other relatives range of that scale as well. Today, India’s Capital Territory, Delhi, alone accounts for nearly 17% of the total number of rape cases in the country.

What makes this problem even more infuriating is that it is not just the act of rape, but kidnappings, abductions, killings, mutilations, acid attacks, and fire attacks as well. This type of violence can be related to disputes over dowry payments, human trafficking, rejection, and pure jealousy.

Research conducted by economists Siwan Anderson and Debraj Ray estimates that in any given year, nearly two million women go missing. Additionally, the economists learned that roughly 12% of the women disappear at birth, 25% die in childhood, 18% at reproductive ages, and 45% go missing at older ages.

Analysts claim that because the country is deeply entrenched in patriarchy and widespread misogyny, the attitude towards women is a reflection of that. Personally, I find that to be a cop-out and a pathetic excuse to allow these horrible acts of cruelty and violence to continue.

When a person commits a crime and the punishment is a slap on the wrist, how can we expect anything to change? How can we expect the men of India to do better? How can we expect them to appreciate women when the government itself is so incompetent and ridiculously slow to provide proper protection for women and harsher punishments for those who believe it is in their right to violate, rape, murder, burn, and molest at will?

This may sound like a rant, and you’re right, it is. I am one voice in a sea of millions of other voices lost on the ears of those who can do something but choose to do nothing. When will things in India change? When the nation as a whole realize that its most valuable treasure is not its history, or its temples, forts, tech hubs, or palaces; but its women.

How India decides to treat its women will determine India’s image to the rest of the world, and if they are worth the blessings and gifts their ancient Gods and GODDESSES bestow upon them.

Subscribe for free and read more international pieces from Left Center Right by clicking here: LCR

Is Sexism Inevitable?

by with No Comment Uncategorized

Cat-calling. Body shaming. Objectification. Anti-feminism. Being a woman in America can be a daily stressor. America, from its inception, has been a sexist and patriarchal country. Forget the standard pressures of balancing school, work, and your personal life. The mere fact you have two X chromosomes means you are subject to certain unnecessary stressors, such as harassment and hyper-sexualization.

From the time a girl is born, society puts limits on her in terms of what she can or cannot do according to her gender. While little boys are encouraged to be wild and explorative, little girls are told to sit and play. And while the little girls are sitting and playing nice, today’s media bombards them with constant images of the “perfect” body, usually in a tight and/or barely-there outfit to highlight every physical asset possible. Little girls learn quickly that much of their worth is determined by their dress size, bra size, and how they rank on the pretty scale of 1 to 10. By the time they reach adolescence the double standard for women has been reinforced, and every day is a constant reminder of their inferiority to men.

When I was in middle school, I remember wanting to join the basketball team at my small private school. I was tall for my age, over 5 feet, when most students my age (boys included) were only 4 foot-something. Unfortunately, instead of being allowed to try out for the basketball team, I was told basketball was for boys and I should join the cheerleading team.

When I was in high school, I remember the day I went to career counseling. I told my guidance counselor I wanted to be an engineer or astrophysicist working at NASA. Her response was, “Ok, but let’s look at other options as well because those aren’t fields women typically do well in.”

When I was in college, I was raped. Like most victims of sexual assault, I did not report it – not to the police or my parents. I knew the system was against me as a woman and I did not want to be humiliated or shamed. Unfortunately in America, when a woman says she is a victim of sexual assault, she is questioned. What did you do? Are you sure? How was it rape if you didn’t fight back? Women are blamed by men and other women for what they were wearing, where they were going, etc., for an action she did not ask for or consent to. When women blame other women for their rape(s); or as in my case end up dating your rapist on top of calling you a liar; it is especially painful.

When I was in my mid-twenties I was working on the corporate side of healthcare. I remember trying to offer ideas in business meetings, but apparently, no one heard me. I decided to assert myself even more as I had seen my male counterparts do. However, when I took that initiative I was labeled as too loud and bossy, and when I complained about the unfair labels I was told I was too emotional. I remember many of my ideas being shot down only to be later suggested as my boss’ original thoughts. 

Now I am over thirty and my womanhood is frequently questioned because I am unmarried with no kids. If a woman at this stage in life gives the slightest impression she enjoys sex, she fears being labeled in a negative way (i.e. she’s a “hoe”, she’s “loose,” etc.), though men are rarely labeled “hoes” for their assumed promiscuity. Whenever I do marry and decide to have kids it will be a battle to get adequate maternity leave.

Most women can relate to similar if not worse situations of sexism and unnecessary stressors during these phases of their life.

The problem with how women are viewed and treated in American society can partially be blamed on women as well. Some women help keep the negative female connotations going by condoning negative male behavior. When President Trump was campaigning and his “locker room talk” about grabbing women by the pussy was leaked, many women dismissed his negative behavior and still voted for him. Daily, I see women tear each other down rather than build each other up, and add negative rhetoric about how a woman should or should not act.

I could go on for days describing the hypocrisies and everyday nuisances of being a woman in America. However, the question I really want an answer to is when will the blame game stop, and when will men start taking responsibilities for their actions? When will men start calling out other men when they do offensive things to women? When will we truly advance from this patriarchal, chauvinistic society?

It looks like times are starting to change. I guess better late than never.

The Second Sexual Revolution

by with 2 Comments Uncategorized

[It took me less than an hour to write this article, but it took me weeks to get the courage.]

In the last few months, dozens of powerful men in entertainment, news, politics, and business have been accused of sexual misconduct from women – and men – who, for their own reasons, stayed silent until now. The result has been earth-shattering; public condemnation, and the loss of their lucrative positions. For some, but not all.

We now live in a fractured sexual culture. On one hand, powerful men are toppled like so many dominos by companies who supported them and ignored their actions for years. On the other hand, some seem impervious to consequences of the accusations. Even when several accusers speak up. Even when proof is provided. The reason for this is that they have an army of staff and supporters who are willing to parrot the accused’s assertion that these women are lying, and have ulterior motives for doing so. Chief among them is our own POTUS, who doesn’t simply accuse the women of lying about the accusations; he is saying they are liars. In my mind, that’s a big difference. Just like with the press, he is attempting to devalue and villainize these women – another form of sexual misconduct.

Questioning the motives of the accusers and the timing of these accusations are completely missing the point. Having been a target of sexual harassment, unwanted advances, and even assault, I can tell you my own motives for keeping silent:

I knew that no one would listen.

I knew that I could lose my job.

I knew that could be blamed for the assault myself.

I knew that no one would believe me.

My own mother didn’t believe me when I told her I had been raped. If my own mother wouldn’t believe me, who would?

We still live in that culture, even as a mere handful of high-profile men are removed from their positions of power. This is a drop in the bucket. Sexual harassment, unwanted advances, and rape happens every day. Every 98 seconds, someone in the U.S. is sexually assaulted. That means that each year, more than 321,000 people age 12 and older are victims of assault. More than 880 people. Every. Single. Day. A high percentage of these assaults are by someone the victim knows – an employer, a co-worker, a lover or spouse, a respected celebrity or cultural icon with a squeaky-clean reputation.  And these statistics are only a small part of the real story. Multitudes more victims do not speak out for fear of victim-shaming or reprisal.

I think what we really need to question are the motives of the companies, political parties, military groups and studios that turned a blind eye, willfully ignored, or outright accepted as part of the culture, who let those powerful men get away with this behavior for years – even decades.

I believe that we’re at a turning point in this country. A second sexual revolution. As more men and women shine a light on their own experiences, others will be emboldened to do so as well. This is not as much about pointing fingers as it is validation. And as more victims step forward, the power will be taken away from those who abuse it.

The future doesn’t have to look like the past.