The real issue that I have with this article is the author’s insistence on enforcing gender binaries, Darwinism, and using anecdotal experiences with women to support his argument on why “Nice Guys Finish Last.” The author provides very little evidence to back his theory on why “Nice Guys Finish Last” in general. The author continually exploits the women in his life as weak and confused beings that are intrinsically drawn to men or masculinity, and by not choosing others, are therefore examples of how “Nice Guys Finish Last.”
Another, even more problematic aspect of this article is that the author assumes that the sexual relationships these women partook in were consensual, when he has no right to speak on their behalf. He flip-flops between blaming women for their own sexual objectification or assault by way of Darwinism, but then preaches support and love for these same women. He admits…
“I’m not victim blaming, I’m not excusing any men for their behavior, and I’m not taking an inch away from the #MeToo movement that is so sorely needed to advance our species forward. BUT I am asking that for every father that must educate his son on how to properly treat another woman (or man), there must also be a mother who teaches her daughter how to properly treat or react to another man (or woman) such that the wrong behavior is not accepted or tolerated.”
This quote is a transparent example of his lack of understanding of these complex issues, his trans exclusionary rhetoric, and his belief that there are only two genders, woman or man. At the end of his article, he is asking women and “mothers” to be more proactive in endorsing “better men.” In essence, this strikes me as utterly hypocritical. This particular man is claiming that because he is a “nice” heterosexual, cisgendered man that he should be rewarded for treating women with respect. Overall, I believe that his argument is incredibly flawed and feels defensive. If this man truly cared about the women in his life, he would take responsibility and lift up these women’s voices instead of asking them to fix the oppressive systems that they did not construct.
I think at the end of the day his own misogynistic ideology, lack of responsibility for his own actions, and complete lack of understanding for what the #MeToo movement serves to address, makes his understanding of women and what embodies respect, subpar.