THROUGH IT ALL… I AM BECOMING

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Mrs. Michelle LaVaughn Robinson Obama has done it again.  For a woman who has been breaking barriers her entire life (first African-American First Lady, most educated First Lady, etc.), I should have known her personal memoir, Becoming, and subsequent book tour would be something to remember. With over 1 million books sold in the first week alone, Mrs. Obama’s ‘Becoming’ is one of, if not THE best-selling political memoir of all time. For a non-fiction book to sell this fast is almost unheard of. I remember all the negativity surrounding Mrs. Obama’s name for the eight years she served as First Lady and was starting to feel like there were more people who were against her than supported her. However, with her record-breaking book sales and unprecedented excitement for her book tour, I am seeing more people are enamored with her just as I am.  (Due to the growing excitement, Mrs. Obama announced additional tour dates, including international stops in both Canada and Europe.)

If you get your hands on a coveted book tour ticket, I highly encourage you to go and listen with an open heart and mind no matter your political party affiliation, sexual orientation, or social status.  The message Mrs. Obama provides throughout her honest conversation with the moderator and audience, is for every woman, with even a few gems for the men who love them.

I was so emotionally moved by the stories Mrs. Obama shared so freely because I was able to relate to many of them. She spoke about topics one would typically only open up about with one or two people within your intimate circle. She expressed pain, anxiety, and fear that she was never allowed to show while being the wife of a Senator and the First Lady.  Listening to her I couldn’t imagine the level of scrutiny she was under in her suffocating world, yet managing to make it all look so effortless.

While sitting in the audience listening to Mrs. Obama speak, I took a second to look around.  I saw women from all walks of life in the audience. From the nosebleed seats to the VIP sections, women of all ages, races, disabilities, and lifestyles looked up at Mrs. Obama in awe that they had the privilege to hear her story firsthand.  I must also give credit to the men in the audience, mainly significant others, equally engrossed in Mrs. Obama’s story.

Her memoir ‘Becoming’ is a page-turner as well.  As I read each page, I feel as if Mrs. Obama is sitting on my couch talking only to me as if we have been best friends for 20+ years.  For so many years I have referred to Mrs. Obama as strong, fearless, and damn near perfect. However, within her memoir, Mrs. Obama became more human.  The fact that she went through many of the same struggles a lot of us face while being such a highly visible public figure is the epitome of grace and poise.  In addition, Mrs. Obama revealed she struggled to find her true path and not be overshadowed, or rather fully engulfed, in the grandiosity of her husband’s growing legacy.  In short, this autobiography is a reminder for all of us to walk in our truth and no matter how tough circumstances become, we are all on a journey where we are ‘becoming’ the best versions of ourselves.

The Turkey Is Almost Done

by with No Comment Diversity & InclusionFeaturedPolitics

Democrats were hoping for a “blue wave” in this weeks Midterms elections. Though the “blue wave” failed to make shore for nationally followed races such as Beto in Texas, he lost by the thinnest of margin which is encouraging by any standard. The other nationally followed races for Governor in both Georgia and Florida are still too close to call and on the verge of a runoff election. Some Democrats were looking for more than a wave, rather a Tsunami. Polls regarding the approval of the Trump administration have been historically low, and the midterm elections were seen as the chance for said Democratic wave to begin the drowning of Trump’s influence through Congress, which would build momentum for a hopeful defeat of Trump in 2020. Though the wave wasn’t a big enough splash in certain places, the blue wave did swallow up enough seats to take over the House of Representatives.

So a Tsunami didn’t happen, but historic waves did make landfall, and the waves were dominated by women. Surfing to shore were the following:

Two Muslim women to Congress, both equally being the first to do so.

The first Native American woman to Congress…

The first lesbian mother to Congress… 

The youngest woman ever elected to Congress… 

The first Black woman ever elected as the Attorney General of New York… 

Also, the first every openly gay man was elected Governor of Colorado.

In my opinion, that’s a splash to be proud of. 

In addition to people, major progress was made nationwide regarding policies. Marijuana is now legal in Michigan, and medically legal in Utah and Missouri. The unsung victory from the midterm elections was without question Amendment 4 passing in Florida, which now grants voting rights to nearly 1.5 million Floridians who were former felons. (I’ll stress that importance in a little bit.) 

Twenty years ago (1998), there was no such thing as legalized Marijuana, and gay marriage was still illegal! We now have an openly gay Governor and legal Marijuana of any usage in ten states. That’s important.

Here in Texas, Hillary Clinton lost by 9% to Trump in the 2016 Presidential election. Two years later, Beto O’ Rourke lost by less than 3% to the well-funded incumbent in Republican Senator Ted Cruz (in the largest red state in the country). The fact that Beto realistically only had a punchers chance against Cruz and almost come away with a victory, is a victory. Here’s why the “moral victories” in Texas are a sign of possible change. For Republicans, big states in which they depend on like Florida, Ohio, and Pennsylvania, can have blue tendencies. Not Texas. Texas is counted on to hold down the GOP fort, due to its 38 electoral votes, second to only California’s 55. The next pure red states with as many electoral votes are Georgia with 16, North Carolina with 15, and Arizona, Indiana, Tennessee each with 11. I think it’s important to note that the unaspiring candidate in Hillary Clinton only lost by nine points in Texas with very little effort in campaigning, and Beto who actually campaigned barely lost. Such improvement in only two years should awaken the Democrat brass to start putting more money and effort into Texas for maybe not a blue wave, but a good ole Texas blue twister to stir things up. 

The way Andrew Gillum destroyed his Republican opponent Ron DeSantis, sparred with Trump via twitter, performed extremely well in the gubernatorial debates, and considering the changes in demographics… Gillium should have won by double digits. Gillum is down by less than .5 percent, which means they’re likely headed towards a recount. Is it not a fair assumption that the 1.5 million formerly convicted felons who just had their voting rights restored could’ve helped him out? 

I know Democrats and Progressives didn’t win every seat they wanted to; however, the numbers are increasing in the right direction in this nation. It’s like hearing “still not done” being yelled by grandma in the kitchen on Thanksgiving regarding the Turkey and her famous side dishes you’ve been patiently waiting for all day. The food isn’t done but you can smell how close it is. You can even see the plates coming out the cabinet. And that’s okay, long as you stay in your chair and don’t get up. No one can take your spot and you’ll be sure to get first dibs on whatever you. 

Midterms… From the Left, Center, Right

by with No Comment FeaturedPolitics
Different perspectives are important, especially regarding the 2018 Midterms. The dust has settled. We asked three of our contributors from the Left, Center, and Right, to weigh in… and here’s what they had to say…
“Midterms… we came, we saw, we partially conquered. To know so many women (particularly minority women) were elected to office for the first time in history was a bittersweet moment. Sweet because I, along with future generations, have a predecessor to look up to. Bitter because in 2018, the fact that we are still having such firsts is unacceptable.” – Left Healthcare Professional 
“A rising tide lifts all boats” is a common way of thinking when making policies. We must realize however, that although the tide will raise the boat I am on, there are some citizens not privileged enough to be on that boat and those policies can have a negative impact on them. In this election I voted for the good of people, ALL people. Although there are some policies that may benefit some tax brackets over others, we as people need to look out for our brothers and sisters (regardless of racism, sexism, and classism) and do what is good for humanity. I appreciate the campaigns that stayed away from the hate and division. Unfortunately, not enough campaigns can say they did that.”  – Center Single Mom
The Democrats now have a tool to prove their worth again to the American people or just enough rope to hang themselves. This “wave” is milder and different in character than the midterm wave of the last three presidents. If Democrats can focus around healthcare and assemble a compromise budget deal (perhaps around issues such as infrastructure), and can find a strong presidential candidate, perhaps they will be rewarded. If this turns into an army of subpeonas… if they continue to focus their entire agenda (or allow their news cycles to focus on) the president’s taxes or scandals, or if their intransigence leads to a government shutdown, they may well have just enough stake in the government to take the blame for a market correction after several years of low inflation growth. If that happens, the house may turn again in two years, and Trump will have another four years. – Right Army Veteran 

The Day After: 2018 Midterm Elections

by with No Comment FeaturedGen ZPolitics

Two years ago I wrote a piece on the day following the 2016 presidential election. I was full of emotions that day—sad, angry, confused, frustrated, devastated, scared, and most of all, hopeless—and I needed to express them somehow. Two years later I’m here again to write a new version of my post-Election Day thoughts. This piece, however, will not be nearly as emotionally charged as the original. I have a lot of feelings about last night’s election, but above all else this time I feel hopeful.

​I want to start by talking about Election Day itself. One question that often gets asked is why Election Day is not a national holiday. I believe it should be. People are missing out on the opportunity to vote because they have to go to work or class. I also believe that on Election Day, all public transportation should be free. All people should have fair and equal access to voting and I believe that includes free transportation to get to the polls. Uber and Lyft have already implemented free rides to polling places on election day, so public transportation should be doing the same in order to ensure that everyone has a chance to vote. If we want to continue the pattern of growing voter turnout, we need to make sure that everyone has equal opportunity and access.

I also believe that every state should have same-day voter registration. A lot of people miss out on the opportunity to vote because many states require registration to be completed weeks before Election Day. Allowing people to register through the day of the election gives more opportunity for people to be able to vote. Voting should be a quick and easy process that everyone should have access to. After speaking to a few first-time voters yesterday I realized the process of voting might not be intuitive to those who have never done it before. There should be someone available at all polls to assist first time voters and anyone else who might need help.

​When it comes to the results of yesterday’s election, I have a lot of mixed feelings. However, like I said before, the emotion I’m feeling most strongly is hopefulness. As a registered Democrat, I am overjoyed to see the flip of the House of Representatives. Although the Dems were not able to flip the Senate as well, I find some joy in other smaller victories. For example, record-breaking numbers of women were elected to the House. There were many firsts of this election as well. For example Sharice Davids, the first openly gay and Native American woman to be elected to Congress, Jared Polis, the first openly gay male Governor, and Ihan Omar, the first Muslim woman in Congress.

​Although we may not have come away with the “Blue Wave” that so many people were hoping for, I see the victories from this election as a step in the right direction. I feel very optimistic about our future and I hope we continue to make history going forward in our elections by pushing for more minority representation in out Congress.

Is Sexism Inevitable?

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Cat-calling. Body shaming. Objectification. Anti-feminism. Being a woman in America can be a daily stressor. America, from its inception, has been a sexist and patriarchal country. Forget the standard pressures of balancing school, work, and your personal life. The mere fact you have two X chromosomes means you are subject to certain unnecessary stressors, such as harassment and hyper-sexualization.

From the time a girl is born, society puts limits on her in terms of what she can or cannot do according to her gender. While little boys are encouraged to be wild and explorative, little girls are told to sit and play. And while the little girls are sitting and playing nice, today’s media bombards them with constant images of the “perfect” body, usually in a tight and/or barely-there outfit to highlight every physical asset possible. Little girls learn quickly that much of their worth is determined by their dress size, bra size, and how they rank on the pretty scale of 1 to 10. By the time they reach adolescence the double standard for women has been reinforced, and every day is a constant reminder of their inferiority to men.

When I was in middle school, I remember wanting to join the basketball team at my small private school. I was tall for my age, over 5 feet, when most students my age (boys included) were only 4 foot-something. Unfortunately, instead of being allowed to try out for the basketball team, I was told basketball was for boys and I should join the cheerleading team.

When I was in high school, I remember the day I went to career counseling. I told my guidance counselor I wanted to be an engineer or astrophysicist working at NASA. Her response was, “Ok, but let’s look at other options as well because those aren’t fields women typically do well in.”

When I was in college, I was raped. Like most victims of sexual assault, I did not report it – not to the police or my parents. I knew the system was against me as a woman and I did not want to be humiliated or shamed. Unfortunately in America, when a woman says she is a victim of sexual assault, she is questioned. What did you do? Are you sure? How was it rape if you didn’t fight back? Women are blamed by men and other women for what they were wearing, where they were going, etc., for an action she did not ask for or consent to. When women blame other women for their rape(s); or as in my case end up dating your rapist on top of calling you a liar; it is especially painful.

When I was in my mid-twenties I was working on the corporate side of healthcare. I remember trying to offer ideas in business meetings, but apparently, no one heard me. I decided to assert myself even more as I had seen my male counterparts do. However, when I took that initiative I was labeled as too loud and bossy, and when I complained about the unfair labels I was told I was too emotional. I remember many of my ideas being shot down only to be later suggested as my boss’ original thoughts. 

Now I am over thirty and my womanhood is frequently questioned because I am unmarried with no kids. If a woman at this stage in life gives the slightest impression she enjoys sex, she fears being labeled in a negative way (i.e. she’s a “hoe”, she’s “loose,” etc.), though men are rarely labeled “hoes” for their assumed promiscuity. Whenever I do marry and decide to have kids it will be a battle to get adequate maternity leave.

Most women can relate to similar if not worse situations of sexism and unnecessary stressors during these phases of their life.

The problem with how women are viewed and treated in American society can partially be blamed on women as well. Some women help keep the negative female connotations going by condoning negative male behavior. When President Trump was campaigning and his “locker room talk” about grabbing women by the pussy was leaked, many women dismissed his negative behavior and still voted for him. Daily, I see women tear each other down rather than build each other up, and add negative rhetoric about how a woman should or should not act.

I could go on for days describing the hypocrisies and everyday nuisances of being a woman in America. However, the question I really want an answer to is when will the blame game stop, and when will men start taking responsibilities for their actions? When will men start calling out other men when they do offensive things to women? When will we truly advance from this patriarchal, chauvinistic society?

It looks like times are starting to change. I guess better late than never.