In response to Can Someone Be Pro-Black and Date Someone Who is Not Black?
I pondered over the writer’s initial question, “Can someone be Pro-Black and date someone who is not Black?” In the long and short of it, yes, if you identify as Pro-Black you can date anyone you want. However, the second question, “SHOULD you?,” posed by the author at the end of the article really peaked my interest. In the age of “wokeness” this question of SHOULD a Pro-Black person date someone who is not Black has been raised many times and has led to numerous heated debates. When dating someone with the intent of finding a life partner, one would hope the person you pick is able to understand things about your culture and empathize with your struggles, both past and present. You would hope you can bring them to family and cultural events without them turning up their nose or not understanding the complexities behind why some things just are the way they are (i.e. Black people having a higher level of anxiety around law enforcement).
The majority of human beings are capable of expressing empathy. “Woke” Black people can empathize with descendants of the Holocaust; while, “woke” Jewish people can empathize with descendants of Japanese concentration camps. But in loving your Black heritage in all of your “wokeness,” wouldn’t it be an oxymoron if you preach all things Black but practice all things non-Black in your home? How can you preach about keeping the Black dollar within the Black community when you yourself are fattening non-Black pockets through familial relationships? How can you stress to others the importance of preserving the Black family, when your family is 1/2 Black through your choice of partner or spouse? How can you scream I’m Black and I’m proud but come home and teach your kids I’m mixed and I’m proud? These questions can go on forever.
I will say the environment in which you are raised plays a major factor in how simple, or not so simple, it would be for a pro-Black person to find a suitable Black person to date. For example, I was born and raised in a predominately Black inner city (and by Black I mean Caribbean, African, and Southern transplants). Here it was easy to find someone to relate to and whom I didn’t have to explain why my friends and family did things certain ways, fought certain fights, or were angered/excited by certain events. However, when I was 15 my parents decided to “move on up” out the hood to a predominately White suburb where I was the only person of color in 95% of my classes. Relating to my new suburban White neighbors and classmates was hard – culture shock even. If I wanted to maintain my dating preferences, I would have to travel at minimum 30 minutes to find a town where the Black to non-Black ratio was more even.
Overall, I think the answer is complicated. Yes, you can be Pro-Black and date someone who is not Black, but you should not want to. With that being said, if a non-Black person is who you fall in love with, as long as they are able to empathize with the Black struggle and help you facilitate Black success then that’s fine; because at the end of the day, to be pro-something does not equate to being anti-something else.
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