America, Why So Stubborn?

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Extreme polarization between both major political parties has played a significant role in the current chaotic state of our union. Middle ground has become toxic. Compromise is a dirty word. Mutual exclusivity and zero-sum outcomes are endemic. Why can’t Americans change their minds? Why are they so stubborn?

Perhaps they don’t realize that the solutions to yesterday’s problems may not solve today’s.

Perhaps they have forgotten that there is often more than one good solution to a problem.

Perhaps they are so convinced that their opponents’ solutions are wrong that they vilify each other with terms like “dangerous” or “evil.”

Perhaps their experience has never taught them that the best solution is sometimes a combination of the best parts of different solutions.

America is meant to be the combination of all the best ideas, people, and things that have ever existed: a “melting pot” of cultures and compromises. All the best sciences, arts, philosophies, foods, fashions, customs, military tactics, political and economic systems… America only became the greatest nation in the world by becoming the best parts of ALL the nations in the world.

But America must find the emotional temperament to constantly improve, adapt, and change with the times or it will cease to be the greatest. Self-esteem must be balanced to defeat stubbornness and embrace a greater truth in lieu of a lesser, personal opinion.

Arrogance believes it is better than it truly is.

Insecurity believes it is worse than it truly is.

Confidence knows exactly how good it is.

Humility knows exactly how bad it is.

The Arrogant will never explore their opposition’s point of view out of pride; will never concede a point during an argument out of spite; will attack their opponent instead of their problem; will tend towards dogmatism or authoritarianism; and will dismiss sound logic if it doesn’t serve their particular worldview.

The Insecure will yield their position to the apparently strongest voice; will be prone to herd behavior even while stampeding off a cliff; will shut down when provoked or challenged; and will timidly and unquestioningly blend in with the values (healthy or harmful) of their community, family, faith, or social group.

The Confident will defend truth over opinion; will entertain nuances within complex issues; can parry personal attacks with empathy and patience rather than retaliation; can concede a valid counterpoint comfortably without fear of conceding the entire argument; will give their opponents as much latitude as possible, even going so far as to help strengthen a counterargument in the case that it might actually be the better position; and ultimately will change positions entirely when stronger evidence or a superior argument demands it.

The Humble will not make excuses, but rather assume full responsibility for their mistakes; will not use every effort to deny culpability or excuse past transgressions or mistakes; will acknowledge their weaknesses and seek to remedy them; can receive constructive criticism as a gift rather than an attack; and will quickly realize when their positions are problematic or harmful, consequently abandoning them for healthier, happier, and more sustainable positions.

How can we fix our problems without admitting them?

How can we remain prosperous if we don’t defend what truly made us successful in the first place? 

Arrogance and Insecurity cause the stubbornness that makes this great nation struggle. To continue thriving, America must be Confident enough to stay true to what made it so great and Humble enough to change what has made it so terrible.

The Unintentional Racist

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My ancestor was Ovid Butler. He founded Butler University because he thought Blacks and Women should have the same right to an equal education as white men. For knowledge knows no color or gender. This I truly believe. After all, it’s in my blood…

Well, last week I had an unexpected experience that really changed me. It was shocking, sad, but in the end, hopeful.

I had a beloved book as a child called, Little Black Sambo. How I would giggle as this little African-American boy ran around the tree and tigers turned to butter as he fed his village! I always thought his name was literally, Sambo. That was until last week. Me and one of my girlfriends, who happens to be African-American, were talking about our favorite childhood books. She huffed back at me that Little Black Sambo was totally derogatory! I, of course, didn’t remember it that way. As I remember – it was a very dark, almost black-skinned child, with big pink lips. He had ripped clothing. I just remember him being happy and saving the day. But maybe I was wrong. My friend was clearly frustrated so I told her I would do some research on this little boy Sambo and try to get a better understanding. 

After discussing it with another friend later that week, they recommended a documentary called The Origin Of The Sambo, The Coon, And The Mammy (Ethnic Origins). I watched it. And in less than 60 minutes I learned how African-Americans had been portrayed negatively in all aspects of media from books to cartoons. Things I innocently loved. Even Bugs Bunny. And at that moment I realized my perceived innocence was true ignorance, and for my entire life I had been taking in images and scripts meant to mock and suppress an entire group of people. 

Mind you. I grew up in a home where the N-word was never used, which I’m sure a lot of white people can say. For as long as I can remember I always had multi-cultural friends. I get white-privilege… Hell, before this experience I even attended BLM meetings from time to time looking for ways to help and become a true ally. So here I am thinking I’m a “woke” white woman, and I’m clueless. I am an UNINTENTIONAL RACIST, and I am literally sick about it. 

What do I do?

How do I change it?

My friend, Carlton, says we need to change the narrative, literally. So, I this year decided I would donate some pro-black esteem books to the local school libraries. Then, it hit me – we could turn this into a charity! So the charity, trueNARRATIVE, is in the works. We hope to focus on changing the way African-Americans are portrayed in the media, history, and advertising. I hope my Uncle Ovid is looking down smiling that I finally got a clue last week. A reminder to everyone to keep an open mind and open dialogue when discussing race. Through understanding, we can ignite change.

Sports and Religion… Eagles Redefine Faith

by with 8 Comments FeaturedSports

If you haven’t noticed, the Philadelphia Eagles are not shy about thanking who they feel is most responsible for their athletic ability and team success. Whether you’re a religious person or not, it’s hard to push back on their collective sentiment considering their season ultimately ended with them defeating the favored New England Patriots in Super Bowl 52 (2/4/18).

Coaches, trainers, teammates, parents, the list goes on of who athletes usually thank first whenever a mic is shoved in their face after a big game. But not these Eagles… that first breath is reserved for their Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, which was the common (genuine) theme you heard over and over after winning Philadelphia’s first pro football championship in more than 50 years.

You often hear a pro athlete here or there thank the Lord for their on-field success, but the Philadelphia Eagles all seem to be on the same page. Almost like political pundits sent out with their talking points prepared to answer contentious questions on the Sunday morning talk shows, they didn’t skip a beat. Do a little digging and you quickly find out this isn’t just for show. A majority of players attend weekly Bible class, and many of them were baptized over the past year like Marcus D. Johnson.

“Last night I took another step forward in my faith. First time being baptized, and it wouldn’t have been possible withouth these group of MEN in this picture. Corporate worship is a beautiful thing!! Cleansed and reborn in Jesus name!!” – Marcus D. Johnson, Eagles Wide Reciever, (featured image above was posted by Marcus on his Instagram account: @mojomdj with this caption on October 12th, 2017) His picture garnered 4,600+ likes and nearly 300 comments.

“I wouldn’t be out here without God, without Jesus in my life… Unbelievable. All glory to God.” – Nick Foles, Eagles Quarterback, Super Bowl 52 MVP

Evangelicals, many of whom publicly support President Trump, have also been quick to publicly support the Philadelphia Eagles for their strong faith and Christianity. However, after the Super Bowl, many of these religious God-fearing Eagles quickly stated that they would not be attending the White House for the traditional visit. We’ll see if Evangelical support dwindles considering the White House will likely respond as time passes.

Either way, a quote from Tight End Zach Ertz might sum up the Eagles potential impact on millions of people around the world who have been questioning their faith.

“…faith and football this Sunday is huge. This is a platform to draw people to the Word, to Jesus. It’s not something we take for granted by any means.” – Zach Ertz, Eagles Tight End

Whether you’re a super religious person or not, it’s safe to say many people are probably re-examining their faith because of the Eagle’s willingness to publicly state how strong theirs is, and it’s hard to argue that’s not a good thing.

Similar read: Eagles Decline the White House

Eagles Decline the White House

by with One Comment FeaturedSports

This past week Philadelphia sport fans have been celebrating the city’s first Super Bowl Championship, FINALLY! Along with post-win celebration comes, usually, the invitation to the White House. Some Eagles players have already publicly stated that they have no intention of going, and that’s their right.

The notion that teams or team members who respectfully decline the White House are anything but respectfully allowed to do so, is misguided frustration about ideas of tradition, patriotism, racism, and a variety of other ‘isms. Citizens can be critical of the country or unsupportive of the president and still love, respect, and support the country, as well as respect the office of the president. These ideas are not mutually exclusive.

They have every right as a team to decline the invitation. Their decline was respectful, and they’re are allowed to say no. Respect for anyone, even the president, does not mean acquiescing to every request and whim.

Response: Tell us what you think! Should sports teams be able to decline White House invitations?

Progressive Woman Responds to SOTU

by with One Comment FeaturedPolitics

Last night, I went through a wide range of emotions watching the State of the Union address. I typically enjoy listening to this address, as it provides a high level report card on what the President and Congress have accomplished the previous year. I knew to expect some Republican propaganda, as all State of the Union addresses are heavily influenced by the party of the sitting President. However, something about last night was different causing the up and down of emotions I experienced.

President Trump touched on a wide variety of topics, from taxes to nuclear weapons and immigration to the opioid crisis. Unfortunately the common theme used when talking about the majority of the topics was fear. In his speech, Pres. Trump continuously pitted immigrants against Americans; environmentalists versus the coal industry; and the rich versus those who are less fortunate. Comments such as “Americans are Dreamers too;” “clean coal;” and everything he said about MS-13, though reports show White male Nationalists have killed the most Americans than any other political, ethnic or religious group in recent years, shed light on the fear he is striking in America, but packaging under the “Make America Great Again” theme.

Lastly, the showcasing of the many anomalies with all the guests in the audience he told stories about felt more like reality TV than true appreciation and/or sympathy. The Pres. and his team purposely sought out the most extreme examples and shamelessly used the grief of these families to drive his point home. Why did these families subject themselves to such a spectacle, I will probably never understand.

Conversative Vet Responds to SOTU

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The nature of the state of the union speech, with its widely disseminated advance copies and formal nature, proved to be the most presidential delivery of any speech the president has given since his inauguration speech. While he seemed bored at times he did appear presidential. Still, it was a good moment for him (if only by comparison).

Nonetheless, it appeared that there were a number of cases he could have made stronger.

The power of that platform, speaking directly to the American people gave him a window to appeal for this wall – and for his amnesty plan… the great compromise that he’s proposed still needs a horse to drive through the legislature, and this was the perfect time to  demand the masses to be that horse – possibly sealing the issue and easily skirting another impending shutdown.

It was a missed opportunity that will likely gain even more attention should we be back again looking at a closed government with Schumer sitting on his hands.

His comment on Apple’s $350bn also seemed odd – while it’s a large number, it seemed to me that it was the first offer to see if the IRS of the new regime would accept that as “enough” as a strategy to onshore corporate income under the new tax reform laws. By touting it in his speech, he may have possibly intended to set the model for other US multinational companies, but he likely gave Apple an early pass before their time.

He generally made a good case for the economy, which is likely his most compelling argument and point of strength. I wonder, though, if he has the ability to stay on message and for how long.

Tonight our government felt sort of normal for the first time in a while… but I admit, I’m waiting with bated breath for the other shoe (or tweet) to drop.

Response: Nice Guys Finish Last

by with 10 Comments CultureFeaturedGen Z
[Article: Nice Guys Finish Last]

The real issue that I have with this article is the author’s insistence on enforcing gender binaries, Darwinism, and using anecdotal experiences with women to support his argument on why “Nice Guys Finish Last.” The author provides very little evidence to back his theory on why “Nice Guys Finish Last” in general. The author continually exploits the women in his life as weak and confused beings that are intrinsically drawn to men or masculinity, and by not choosing others, are therefore examples of how “Nice Guys Finish Last.”

Another, even more problematic aspect of this article is that the author assumes that the sexual relationships these women partook in were consensual, when he has no right to speak on their behalf. He flip-flops between blaming women for their own sexual objectification or assault by way of Darwinism, but then preaches support and love for these same women. He admits…

“I’m not victim blaming, I’m not excusing any men for their behavior, and I’m not taking an inch away from the #MeToo movement that is so sorely needed to advance our species forward. BUT I am asking that for every father that must educate his son on how to properly treat another woman (or man), there must also be a mother who teaches her daughter how to properly treat or react to another man (or woman) such that the wrong behavior is not accepted or tolerated.”

This quote is a transparent example of his lack of understanding of these complex issues, his trans exclusionary rhetoric, and his belief that there are only two genders, woman or man. At the end of his article, he is asking women and “mothers” to be more proactive in endorsing “better men.” In essence, this strikes me as utterly hypocritical. This particular man is claiming that because he is a “nice” heterosexual, cisgendered man that he should be rewarded for treating women with respect. Overall, I believe that his argument is incredibly flawed and feels defensive. If this man truly cared about the women in his life, he would take responsibility and lift up these women’s voices instead of asking them to fix the oppressive systems that they did not construct.

I think at the end of the day his own misogynistic ideology, lack of responsibility for his own actions, and complete lack of understanding for what the #MeToo movement serves to address, makes his understanding of women and what embodies respect, subpar.

Nice Guys Finish Last

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The #metoo movement is neglecting something in their current crusade:

Historically, nice guys finish last.

The men that the #metoo women endorse: the kind, patient, never aggressive, never instigating, never accosting, never touching without permission, always considerate type of man… he is often taught (by WOMEN) that he is a loser in the race to naturally select, procreate, find a mate, and… get laid!

In my own life, I remember three separate occasions when my “nice guy” approach lost to the complete antithesis of the #metoo movement.

For what it’s worth, I’ve never made an inappropriate advance on a woman. It’s mostly because I have a low sex drive/libido and my Mother was violently insistent on treating women with respect and NOT having sex until marriage (I still did, mind you, but it always took weeks if not months after the first kiss… I was very “slow”).

But I remember the girl I fell for in 8th Grade kind of liked me and almost agreed to “go with me” (my only tactic being polite, respectful conversation over the course of 6 months). That is until the hot, cool guy made a move on her and, without hesitation, she consented to a sex act in the computer room. A week earlier, she had FINALLY agreed to dance with me at the school dance for the greatest three minutes of my adolescence.

I was heartbroken. My most aggressive intention was a kiss. Holding hands would have been pure bliss. But she was overwhelmed by confidence, good looks, and Darwinian impulses that brought her in an instant to her first sexual activity with a boy who she had never really gotten to know and who cared nothing for her… but he was a really popular, handsome, confident guy.

I don’t blame her. I could have been more confident at that age and yet still a gentleman. I was kind of a wimp in 8th Grade and wimpiness is not attractive. I once overheard a girl say “I don’t know how any girl would ever find him attractive. He’s such a loser.” I was nice, but weak. For some reason, strong guys are often assholes, but sexual impulses are millions of years old. Our bodies demand that we pursue the mate that will give our offspring the best genes and greatest chance of survival. Historically, that means the strongest, bravest, and most confident.

Anyhow, in high school, I “courted” a girl for two years. My heart belonged to her and she really seemed to like me, but that didn’t stop her from giving a blowjob to the confident guy that could dance better than me and was über machismo. They started dating. After he cheated on her, she asked me to prom and we dated for two years. It was a really great relationship and I learned not to be jealous of a girl, more accurately a woman, who was just figuring out what she liked.

In college, the girl I liked more than anyone I’d met in my life kept me in the friend zone for eight years before we dated. In that time, she was raped once and date raped twice while drunk by really confident, fun guy-friends whom she had trusted. It was heartbreaking.

I thought I was the perfect guy in regard to behavior, respect, boundaries, and patience. I was almost NEVER rewarded for my good behavior until I married my wife: the most perfect woman I have ever met who lets me know each day how much she appreciates the way I treat and respect her.

But I was playing the long game and I won. How many men lost in this approach? How many men lost time and again to “cavemen” like these current sex offenders in politics and entertainment that are going down in flames?

If there are awful men who still adhere to aggressive, inconsiderate, animal-kingdom norms in pursuit of finding a sexual mate, there are surely awful women as well who have encouraged their behavior.

I’m not victim blaming, I’m not excusing any men for their behavior, and I’m not taking an inch away from the #metoo movement that is so sorely needed to advance our species forward. But I am asking that for every father that must educate his son on how to properly treat another woman (or man), there must also be a mother who teaches her daughter how to properly treat or react to another man (or woman) such that the wrong behavior is not accepted or tolerated.

Young women, if properly educated, can help shape the behavior of young men by only reacting positively to the behavior that #metoo wishes to propagate. Otherwise, who will the young men believe? The adults telling them to act with respect and empathy? Or the beautiful young lady who only gratifies the romantic desires of machismo, caveman aggressors?

In short, behavior is formed in our adolescence. Ladies, it would help us gentlemen if you would please do your part in endorsing better men so that only the best behavior is accepted and continued.

Continue the discussion: Contributor Response

Oprah is Not the Answer

by with 2 Comments FeaturedPolitics

The response to one unqualified celebrity is not another unqualified celebrity from the opposing side. Although Trump and Oprah are completely different as individuals, business people, pop-culture personalities, and potential politicians, neither are qualified to run the country. The notion that Oprah would win because she’s more widely liked, is great, I’m all for a minority as president, or a woman president, or both. But, of course Oprah is well liked, the entirety of her successful career was built on winning the hearts of middle-American housewives. Although I’m sure Oprah is well intentioned, and she probably aligns with many people’s political views, but she’s still not qualified for the intricate and critical role of President of the United States or to make her political leanings a legislative reality.

We shouldn’t be recreating a bad situation with someone who’s personality the country likes a little better. I understand that the last election was unbelievable and unprecedented. But now that there is a precedent for a celebrity president, doesn’t mean we should do it again. We’re talking about The President of the United States, a position we used to think required a competent, qualified individual with a proven track record in a relevant field. That may not be in the job requirements anymore, but look what it’s done for the country; possible nuclear war, poorly handled natural disasters, immigration and foreign affairs nightmares, and racial tensions and hate crimes at an all-time high. Oprah, as much as she is a savvy business woman, cultural icon, philanthropic juggernaut, and well-liked by almost everyone, she is not qualified to be president.

Immigrants and the American Dream: Making America Great Every Day

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[Congress is running out of time to save Dreamers via DACA. Immigrants, like several of our contributors, keep America great. Here’s an article from one of our contributors detailing her journey. She’s part of the solution, not the problem.]

Remember when you were seven years old? How carefree and wonderful it was? All you had to worry about was your next sweet treat and perhaps the decision to wear your frilly pink skirt or Spiderman shirt the next day. Now imagine this is your life and you’re abruptly told that in two days you will be leaving for a new life, new country, new experiences, new everything. In that split instance, you know that life will never be the same. After all, you can’t take all of your Barbie’s and accessories on the plane with you to your “new life”.  But, somehow you smile and go about your last two days at school knowing that you will never see your friends and teachers again.  You can’t express your fear, nor tell anyone because migrating north is a secret.  Seventy-two hours later it’s “Goodbye Ecuador, Hello America”. You arrive at JFK, and your search for the “American Dream” begins.  This was me in 1994, and today the search for the “American Dream” continues.  

I remember my first day of elementary school in New York like it was yesterday – mostly because it was the day that I made up my mind that I would be successful.  I sat and stared at a green chalkboard in a classroom where I knew no one and understood nothing.  My new home was a two-bedroom apartment that I shared with nine family members (a drastic change from the beach house I’d spent the last seven years of my life in).  I remember sitting on the top bunk at night and crying, “I’m dying to learn English.”  At only seven years old, it was clear that life would be tough, but I knew that I was tougher.

I attended public schools from the age of 7-17 while being undocumented. I was a typical high school student that played soccer and worked a part-time job.  During my senior year of high school, while everyone debated about majors and what college they would attend, I secretly wished to do the same – but I couldn’t because of my immigration status.  Instead, I pretended not to care about college and repeated over and over, “College is just not for me,” to anyone that asked.  I wonder, how my life would be different – if I would have been on the same playing field and had the same opportunities as everyone else.  If I would have known as a young child that I could have been anything I wanted, what kind of life could I have created for my family? For myself?

Today, I look back on my life and I’m proud of every struggle as well as the prosperous moments.  I actually attended and graduated college, started a family, and currently work as a Director for a non-profit that helps students achieve successful careers.  I wonder where I would be without the struggle of searching for the “American Dream.”  The desire to build something from nothing is what built this country from the ground up.  The desire to succeed, beat the odds, and do the impossible is what created this great nation.  Immigrants bring that desire to this country, and that desire is what will continue to build this great nation.  It is what we should be fighting to have in this country, not push out.  

As we move forward in this post “build the wall” election, I question the motive behind blocking individuals with the passion and desire to succeed.  As an immigrant, I have aspired to be the best contribution to the land I have chosen to live in.  I choose to make MY America a better place, and I choose to do so in the America that molded me into the woman I am today. Those who come to this country in search of the “American Dream” have given up everything in order to achieve success, and if given the opportunity, they will keep America great instead of “Making America Great Again.”

This article was originally published on 3 July 2017.