The Second Sexual Revolution

[It took me less than an hour to write this article, but it took me weeks to get the courage.]

In the last few months, dozens of powerful men in entertainment, news, politics, and business have been accused of sexual misconduct from women – and men – who, for their own reasons, stayed silent until now. The result has been earth-shattering; public condemnation, and the loss of their lucrative positions. For some, but not all.

We now live in a fractured sexual culture. On one hand, powerful men are toppled like so many dominos by companies who supported them and ignored their actions for years. On the other hand, some seem impervious to consequences of the accusations. Even when several accusers speak up. Even when proof is provided. The reason for this is that they have an army of staff and supporters who are willing to parrot the accused’s assertion that these women are lying, and have ulterior motives for doing so. Chief among them is our own POTUS, who doesn’t simply accuse the women of lying about the accusations; he is saying they are liars. In my mind, that’s a big difference. Just like with the press, he is attempting to devalue and villainize these women – another form of sexual misconduct.

Questioning the motives of the accusers and the timing of these accusations are completely missing the point. Having been a target of sexual harassment, unwanted advances, and even assault, I can tell you my own motives for keeping silent:

I knew that no one would listen.

I knew that I could lose my job.

I knew that could be blamed for the assault myself.

I knew that no one would believe me.

My own mother didn’t believe me when I told her I had been raped. If my own mother wouldn’t believe me, who would?

We still live in that culture, even as a mere handful of high-profile men are removed from their positions of power. This is a drop in the bucket. Sexual harassment, unwanted advances, and rape happens every day. Every 98 seconds, someone in the U.S. is sexually assaulted. That means that each year, more than 321,000 people age 12 and older are victims of assault. More than 880 people. Every. Single. Day. A high percentage of these assaults are by someone the victim knows – an employer, a co-worker, a lover or spouse, a respected celebrity or cultural icon with a squeaky-clean reputation.  And these statistics are only a small part of the real story. Multitudes more victims do not speak out for fear of victim-shaming or reprisal.

I think what we really need to question are the motives of the companies, political parties, military groups and studios that turned a blind eye, willfully ignored, or outright accepted as part of the culture, who let those powerful men get away with this behavior for years – even decades.

I believe that we’re at a turning point in this country. A second sexual revolution. As more men and women shine a light on their own experiences, others will be emboldened to do so as well. This is not as much about pointing fingers as it is validation. And as more victims step forward, the power will be taken away from those who abuse it.

The future doesn’t have to look like the past.